Monday, February 17, 2014

Good Things, Bad Things, and Crazy Things!

I can not begin to count the amount of times I have sat here in front of my computer and just stared at the blank blog screen.  I have so much to say, but my heart can't seem to find the words time and time again.

Since that last week in January, life has been an extreme roller coaster.

The holidays were fantastic!

And the new year came with high hopes for 2014.  After the long 9 years of living pay check to pay check and scrounging every penny we had, this was going to be our year!  This was going to be the year that all our hard work and sacrifices were finally going to pay off!

We were finally going to get Ben's Army pay fixed (They are shorting us $800 a month!!), and for the first time in our lives, we were going to have a real house!  A brand new house with a huge yard in Texas.  The boys were finally doing great.  2014 was going to be OUR year!  The Year of the Nutshell!

Then the day after my birthday, last week of January, it all came crashing down around us.

Ben's orders changed.

Which means that we are ordered to stay in Oklahoma until July or August.

Which means that our mortgage will not finalize without written orders that say Ben is stationed down at Ft. Hood.

Which means, that big beautiful dream house is not going to be ours.

We were all devastated.  This was going to be our year!  It was supposed to work out!  And it didn't.  I cried so hard, I got rashes around my eyes:

Then, like every other trial that has faced us, I knew I had a choice.  I could cry and whine and complain about my lot in life, or I could suck it up, stand tall, and face life with class and hope for better future.  After briefly giving into the former, I took a deep breath and accepted the later.  When I could think about it without crying I posted this on Facebook:

Sometimes, life doesn't always happen the way we plan or want it to. It's full of ups and downs, successes and disappointments. We had a huge disappointment last night. Because of certain circumstances (Got to love the Army life!), Ft. Sill wants to keep my Ben here in Oklahoma until July. So this means that we aren't going to be able to get that beautiful house with the big yard in Texas. We were devastated, we cried, I threw up, and we had long talk and said some prayers. We may not know why we need to be here a little longer, but we do know that it must be important. If my husband needs to learn something that will save his life and/or the lives of others, then there is no house in the world that would mean more to me than his safety. We are okay  We choose not to let this get to us and we know that the Lord just has other plans for us. Who knows, they might even be better! So I am going to sign up for some Oklahoma spring/summer runs, continue to lead the branch choir, get a trampoline for the boys, and stock the heck out of my storm shelter!

I was going to wait longer to post something, but I am really glad I did this when I did.  Because instead of people jumping on my pity train, everyone was so encouraging to me.  My friends here in Oklahoma were HAPPY we were staying!  And they weren't afraid to say it!  I felt so wanted and loved at a time I was hurting so much.  How could I possibly want to leave this area right now, when I have so many true friends!!

Our little family felt the love, and we accepted that this must be meant to be.

On the other hand, Ben's pay is still not fixed.  It's really frustrating to me, the family budget Nazi, to not have the money we need to cover all our bills and feed the family.  Ben went in last week to see what the update was, it is been MONTHS since we submitted all the paper work to have it fixed, and some twerp put it in some random pile and it didn't get submitted.  Oh, the anger that flows.....

So now, we have a few more months to wait for it to get worked out.  Silver lining: we get back pay in one lump sum so it will be like two tax refunds this year!  Yay.

Another highlight of the month, was that Ben and I didn't exchange Christmas gifts this year, or birthday presents, and Valentines wasn't going to happen either... we were saving every little penny for the fees on the closing of the house.

Silver lining:  We had a little saved... so we decided to buy something we REALLY wanted for ourselves! We ordered this baby:

We got it right on Valentine's Day!!!

We LOVE IT!!!  I have already run across Venice, Italy, through Paris and around the Eiffel Tower... today, I ran through Central Park in New York City.  All without leaving my living room!!

We got our taxes done.

And we told the boys we would get them a trampoline to have something fun this spring and summer to do in the back yard.

We will make the most of this time in Oklahoma, and when we leave, we will not ever regret the time we spent here.

Things will work out, they always do.  I am still pretty sure that 2014 is our year!!

As for tonight, we are headed out to see the new Lego movie!  Have a great one!

-Cat


2 comments:

Kayli Sue said...

Army life is so full of ups and downs. We are currently going through a down portion. Its tough but it makes you so much stronger and teaches you to be way more flexible. I think it's ridiculous that pay issues take so long to fix. I hope yours gets fixed soon! I have learned that I become so much stronger on my knees. Heavenly Father gets me through it all.

Terra Lorien said...

Without sharing the details, please know that this last couple of months I have understood the crying until my eyes have a rash thing. Thank you for sharing this post.I've barely blogged lately, or even felt like reading blogs. But, I happened to see yours today, and for some reason, it helped. I know none of us are immune to trials. And I know trusting my Heavenly Father is the only way out of my families' current trial (or any to come for that manner). Love to you and your family. Not sure what we signed up for on this earth, but there must be a purpose.