Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Busy Bodies and Bunk Beds

A few weeks ago, while the kids were out for the Christmas break, I took all three of them to a local grocery store.  It was in the morning, so they were on their best behavior.  I had Jake (2 1/2 yrs) in the cart buckled in, and the other two boys (6 & 8) were walking on either side holding onto the cart.  I was just thinking what good boys they were being when this lady accosted us.

"OH MY G...!!"  She yelled out at me (but she totally took the Lord's name in vain).  "THREE KIDS!!? Are you freakin' kidding me!?"  My first thought was, what a jerk!  Here my kids are totally behaving themselves and this total stranger is yelling in my face about my family choices.

"Yep!  I have 3 amazing boys!" I said proudly.  Here was moment to stand up for my kids in front of my kids and I was going to take it!

"Good grief!!" She spat.  "You aren't planning to have MORE are you!?"  Who asks that?!  People with bad hygiene, missing teeth, and horrible people skills do!  That's who!

Like it is anyone's business!

But I am just too sweet.  Too nice, to tell this women where she could stick her opinions.

I wish I would have been quick on my snarky comebacks that day.  I might have said, "Yep, three down, NINE more to go!!  We would LOVE an even dozen!"


"As long as we can afford their dental work, shampoo and shoes, the sky's the limit!"

I might have even gone with the classic, "Mind your business, Lady."

Instead I smiled sweetly and said, "Yep!  We would love to have one or two more!"  She sneered and snorted at me as we strolled off.  Seriously, what business is it of hers?  We pay our own way, we provide for our kids.  There has been some bumps along the way, but nothing we couldn't take care of.  We are good, loving parents, who care about raising good citizens.  Which is a LOT more then many people can say.

It's true, we would like another one or two children.  We have always used wisdom in planning the timing of each of our boys so we could be sure we could provide for them.  They may not always have the best electronics, the best clothes, the trendy shoes, or the fancy birthday parties.  But they have what they need.  And they have the love of their parents.

Just look at what my dear, sweet husband built for them:

We thought about buying, but in all honesty, when we found a bunk bed that looked Sam and Nephi proof, it was well over $2000!!  So I told Ben all the features I wanted and he designed it and made one from scratch.  Then I stained and sealed it.  The boys helped... a little.

Note there is no ladder.  We wanted the boys to get some wiggles out to climb to the top... they are getting really good at it!

Then Jake and I went to Sam's Club and got some nice twin mattresses.  These beds were going to last until our boys go off to college!!
All finished!
If that's not a labor of love.... 

It really bothers me how random strangers feel they have a say in how we live our lives.  They don't know us.  They don't know our situation.  And they don't know the thoughts and desires of our hearts.  We aren't hurting them.  We aren't taking from them.  We are just living our lives the best that we can.

You may be wondering WHY we want to have a larger family.  I could tell you that I only had one sister and ALWAYS wanted more siblings.  I could tell you that my husband loved being raised in the big family and wants the same for his own kids.  I could tell you that we just love kids! Which is all true... (although, the last reason depends on the day... lol)  But the truth is, the MAIN reason we want more kids has a lot to do with our LDS faith.

I heard someone once say that Mormons liked to have lots of kids just to show off their fertility.  That is ONE of the MOST ridiculous things I have ever heard. (Emphasis on ONE... I have heard some pretty crazy misconceptions about the church).

For those of you who know very little about the LDS faith (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints aka Mormons), to really understand WHY many members of this church have several kids, you have to know a little bit about our doctrine.

We believe that we lived before we were born as spirits in a perfect Heaven with God (Heavenly Father) and our savior, Jesus Christ.  That he created our spirits and we lived as his children for thousands of years before we came to Earth to be born.  In that time we learned, we developed relationships and talents.  We had our own personalities.  Have you ever felt like you were BORN with certain talents?  Have you ever met someone you SWORE you have known forever, but you only just met??  Well, we believe that you probably had that talent before this life.  Maybe you did know that person before!  Maybe you even fell in love and came to this Earth to look for that "soul mate".  The possibilities are endless when one thinks in this perspective.

Now, about the kids.  If you truly believed that there were spirits out there waiting to be born, wouldn't you want them to come to your family?  If you can provide for them.  If you can love them and help them to grow up and be good people... wouldn't you rather them come to your family then be born somewhere else where they might not be loved?

Members of the church are also HUGE on adoption.  We even have our own adoption agency!  A family doesn't have to be biological be a family... not in God's eyes.  We truly believe that we are all children of God and we all deserve to have families who love us no matter our race, culture, or sex.  Every family that strives to be good are beautiful... at least that is how I feel.

So ignorant lady at the store:  Yes! I LOVE kids!  I am going to have as many as I want and it's between me, my husband, and my God.  Your opinion, as irritating as it is, doesn't matter to me.  In fact, the only thing I can remember about you is your nasty attitude, your bad smell and the fact you were missing more teeth than a Jack-O-Lantern.  It's sad.  I would hate for people to remember me for being a crusty person.

I'm not perfect.  I don't pretend to be. But my love for my children is.  And that, my friends, makes all the difference in the world.


PS Any posts I write about my faith, tend to get nasty comments.  I am being respectful in sharing my beliefs, I only ask that you be respectful in sharing yours.  Thank you!


Tara said...

You are awesome. I'm feeling all kinds of rage on your behalf for that comment! What a rude person. I think you handled it really well.

Stevie said...

What a jerk! I think you handled it nicely though :) I remember the first time we went on a plane as a family- all six of us plus Mom and Dad- and the flight attendant was like, "Holy cow! It's the Brady Bunch!" Hehe. The more the merrier.

Peggy Lineberry said...


Heidi said...

Blah on the busy bodies out there. I know how you feel and we just have to ignore them. Way to go on the bunk beds! They look amazing!