Monday, August 13, 2012

Military Monday: When the Homecoming Honeymoon is Over

Everyone LOVES a great Military Homecoming!!  It is an event that is eagerly anticipated for weeks, months, and sometimes even years.  But a lot of times, we don't think about what kind of things will come up once euphoria of having them home wears down a bit.

When Ben left, it took me and the boys about 2 weeks to get used to him being gone.  Adjustments had to be made, I had to take on new responsibilities, the boys had to help me more, and we got used to having a cleaner house Army-Gear free.  I got used to having the bed to myself, my stuff not moving around, and things start to go the way I want them to go.  I become the Queen Supreme of my home, and I start to like it!

But I always miss Ben to pieces.

If he is gone for at least 3 weeks, we always have to go through another adjustment phase when he comes home.  I am pretty sure that all families have to go through it too.  Remember, you just went from Supreme ruler of the house, to co-pilot.  Dad comes home and wants to re-establish his reign of King.  Sometimes, it's a little hard to let things go when you have been in charge for so long.  However, I have NO problem with handing over the trash-taking out chore in the least bit.

So this is how it went for us:

Day #1: We were SO happy Ben was home!  Then we got home, and he plopped down all his gear in the living room.  My eye started to twitch... But none of that, YAY Ben was home!!!

Day #2: The icons on my computer moved.  He was reset all my Chrome settings.  My laundry suddenly doubled and the dishes were getting out of control.  He's a bed hog and took my blankets... BUT, it's all right.  I can handle this.... I just need to put aside my personal issues of having my stuff messed with and be happy that he is finally home!!

Day #3:  Is he playing with my Kindle Fire? Breath.... What is he doing with the Netflix Queue? Breath... Are those sweaty socks right in the middle of the floor?  And why is he letting the boys get away with that!?  Breath.... just be happy that he is home!!

Day #4: Conversation we I had:

Me: Ben, I love you. I am so happy that you are home.  But honey, if you EVER turn the thermostat up to 85 degrees again, you will be sleeping in the garage.

But don't worry!  The adjustment period only lasts for a week or two at best!  Then things start getting normal.  That is, if you are all willing to bend a little.  I am not the only one trying to figure things out, Ben is trying to find is place in the family again and I have to try to be a little patient with that.

Then when things get back on track, school will start and we will have to make some more adjustments.  But hey, that's life and it's how we learn.  And honestly, having to make all these adjustments has been really good for our marriage in the long run.  Why?  Because we learn how to adjust to life, changes, trials, and everything that may come our way.  So it's actually a good thing.... if we get it right, that is.


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Adjusting when he/she comes home
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Adrienne May said...

I love that you are so real and honest. Ps. I would kill my husband if he turned the thermostat up to 85 degrees too, and I am not sure I would warn him.

Mrs Dankle-Biter said...

I am already thinking of when my husband comes home. I have kinda been enjoying him not being home BECAUSE I dont have to pick up his socks and PT gear in THREE rooms in our house (seriously I think he just spins and flings his clothes wherever) and I can base my own schedule rather than figuring it out between when he is home, the baby is napping, when the baby needs to be feed etc. Our son is really young right now and by the time he comes home I will have a little man in the house so it will be interesting how everyone adapts. Just found your blog and I love it already <3