I admit, it has been a real struggle for me to keep a good attitude about things. Having hope and faith that everything will work out is tough when it just doesn't seem to be coming true.
Last night, I had a really good cry out. So good, it flared my asthma up and gave me a uncomfortable session of coughing my lungs out. But hey, it was worth it just to let all the stress and worry out in a good old fashioned cry session. Today, when I woke up, even with swollen eyes, I felt better. I looked myself in the mirror and said, "Cat, you are doing the best you can. This garbage that is happening are things that are out of your control. Remember, you always have a choice on how you are going to deal with it. Come out weaker, bitter, and angry, or suck it up, get a better attitude and KNOW that karma will come your way and things will start looking up. You need to get over this!"
Yeah, so I talk to myself. When Ben is gone, who else is going to give me a great pep talk?
So, I resolved to have more hope and faith that things will look up. I will cross my fingers and my toes that Ben's money will come through on the first (Wed) so I can pay the bills. Meanwhile, I will pray, smile, be the best person I can be.... and take care of my kids and support my hardworking hubby.
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