Thursday, June 14, 2012

A Question for the Military Wives

I received an email a few weeks ago, from a woman named Stephanie who lives over in the UK.  I always love to hear from people over there because their emails are full of fun words that we don't use over here... we have lawyers, they have solicitors.  We go on vacations, they take holidays.  And I always love their quick wit and sense of humor.  Stephanie and I connected right off.

Stephanie has some family members that are military wives, and she is getting fed up with some of the stereo-types and misjudgments she hears or reads about... aren't we all a little fed up with that sometimes?  The company she works for wants to dedicate a site on squelching the rumors and would love to quote us.  Here is the plan in Stephanie's own words:
Hi Nuts in a Nutshell readers! I’m Steph and I need your help with a project I’m pursuing to help banish the stereotypes surrounding military wives. My cousin’s wife is a military spouse and she says there’s a lot of prejudice from the rest of society towards military wives so I’ve got the military solicitors site I work for to agree to host a page dedicated to banishing that stereotype. But I can’t do it alone! I need help from the military spouse community – I need your quotes, opinions and stories to help make this page as powerful as I can.
 How can you help? I’d love to know what aspect of being a military wife you find the most difficult. Whether it be the time you have to spend away from your other half or acting as a single parent for long periods of time I’d love to hear it. Some quotes will be chosen for featuring on the page!
You can voice your thoughts in the comments below; I’m looking for as many different reasons to show everyone that life as a military wife isn’t such an easy ride! 
Thanks for your time and a huge thanks to Cat for allowing me to connect with you all!
So, let's help our friends over in the UK and please leave us a comment, OR if you don't want it on the blog for all to see, you can email your thoughts to me, nutsinanutshell(at)gmail(dot)com, and I will forward your message to Stephanie.

Thanks in advance for all your help!



Sandi said...

I've been an Army wife for a couple of years and I honestly have yet to be confronted with any negativity about it. Most people thank me for serving (which makes me totally uncomfortable because he's the one doing all the work) and one time an old lady even saluted me?? I'm grateful for the support of my fellow Americans.

Also, since that came from a UK reader, she should tell anyone that has issues with military wives to clue in to the fact that they have one of the most beautiful and wonderful military wives in existence: KATE MIDDLETON!

Steph said...

Hey Sandi,

That's great that you've never experienced any stereotyping, it's such a shame that so many others do. But you're so right - "she should tell anyone that has issues with military wives to clue in to the fact that they have one of the most beautiful and wonderful military wives in existence: KATE MIDDLETON!"

Ana said...

I think the hardest things I've had to deal with are people who expect me to react and be there for them the same way their civilian friends can be. They don't understand when I vanish from existence for awhile when my husband comes home from either a deployment or just a high-tempo period. I don't like volunteering for things for this reason - my family is going to come first when he's around, no matter what I'm involved in. But not volunteering can also get me in hot water for various reasons...

Oh, and we LIKE moving, so you don't have to feel bad for us when we do so! We really did choose to move twice this year. We could have chosen something that would have made us stationary for five years instead, but we'd rather move. It's a big reason we're doing this military thing- the lifestyle is totally us.

I would, however, greatly appreciate some help in the form of babysitting or just a lunch out if you have the time. We do miss the people we leave behind, even while we like moving on.

I could go on and on about this, but I will refrain! I'll just leave you with one more thought - No, it's NOT received well when someone says, "I don't know how you do that! I couldn't be apart from my husband for so long. I'd go crazy!" or anything to that effect. I hope you do realize how that comes across (although I also know that a lot of people have no idea when they say it and mean well so I mostly just grit my teeth and keep my mouth shut).