When Ben has to go, I think of all the positive things I can do while he is away. I make a list of goals. I plan fun mini vacations and outings for me and the kids. Just because he leaves, doesn't mean we have to stop living.
This summer, it will be just me and the boys for most of it. Ben has a lot of training this summer and after the middle of June we won't see him until the end of Aug. Today, Ben left to get in his few weeks of AT (annual training) -- but it's only a 45 min drive so he can come home in the evenings. And I tell you, we are going to live it up while he is out. Why not?
There are a few points I want to discuss about Summer training, and you can apply it to other trainings as well.
Make Goals: There is no reason for us to sit around and be sad that our men aren't around. There is a little thing I call "get a life" that I like to apply to this. Of course, HE is our life... and so are the kids. But I believe I am so much more than his wife and their mom. I am Cat and I do have a brain and a healthy body... and I plan to use them.
I have made some goals this summer. First of all, I am going to lose 20 pounds. No if's, and's or but's about it! My motivation? I would like to run a couple races this fall, I want to be down to at least my pre-pregnancy weight and get my lungs and body back in shape. Also, I want to look smoking hot at the Military Ball in November. (Which reminds me, that I will be announcing the Summer Fitness Challenge later this week!)
My second goal is to get at least 5 more crochet patterns up for sale. Hopefully, some cute fall patterns.
My third goal is to learn something new. I don't know what I am going to learn yet.... but I will figure it out!
The next point I want to discus is civilian friends and family members.
How to deal with friends and family members: You are going to be asked all sorts of things from well meaning family and friends who just want to know how you are coping. SO MANY military wives I have run into or read about online, get offended by this. I don't, unless they are totally rude and call my husband names. Never happened, but it might some day.
Yesterday, when I was at church, I got asked a lot of things when people found out Ben was going to be gone most of the summer. Now, here I had to two choices, I could whine and complain and make them pity me, OR I could smile and tell them that it was alright and instead of being the object of pity and I can be an example of strength. I choose to be an example of an Army Strong Wife!
They will ask you how you can go so long with the hubby... I just tell them it's part of our life and we are used to it. They are always shocked when I tell them me and the boys make fun plans when he is gone. Other military wives complain that their civilian friends and family will never understand... and they won't, BUT that's okay. We don't always understand them either. I don't care if they feel bad for me. Just means that they will be more willing to babysit for me... lol. And if they think I love my husband less than they love theirs, then that's their problem. The "who loves their hubby the most game" is immature and lame and I won't play it -- besides, I would totally win! :)
Just don't let yourself get offended so easily. People mostly mean well, they want you to know that your family is in their thoughts. When you allow yourself to let these people bother you, you are only hurting yourself. Be forgiving and let things go.
And Stay Positive! Having a a good attitude and handling things at home will make life easier on your soldier and will help him stay focused. Many wives don't understand the power that they have over their men... you have the power to make or break your soldier's career. YOU are that important. Take that role seriously and support him in any way you can. Be a part of his military life, because it means SO much to him. Be his biggest fan and let him know at every chance how much you love and support him. And that you are ultra proud to be called his wife.
So in summary, while the hubby is gone summer training: Make goals, let people help you, don't get offended and be forgiving, be an example of strength toward others, be your husband's biggest support and fan and HAVE FUN!! Like I said above, life doesn't stop just because HE is gone. Live YOUR life too.
Have a great day!
Here are a few other posts that relate to this subject:
How to keep busy while he is gone
Be His Biggest Fan