Friday, January 13, 2012

This Week's Beef

Truth be told, this week I have been in hiding from the internet.  I have this rule that if I only have things to complain about, then no social networking until things work themselves out.  I am not a person to air my grievances online.  I don't want the attention and I don't want to talk about it. I just want it to be over!

But I have to tell you, this week has not been friendly to me.  I don't know why. I have been trying awfully hard to be nice to it!  The university started back up this week from the long Christmas break.  I knew it would be tough, it always is.  Just when I get used to Ben being able to help me with the kids and around the house, the school life just snatches him away once more.  Such is life, and that's okay.

What has been hard is all the other stuff that is going on.  Ben was asked to be in charge of some stuff over at the ROTC.  Between his Army Reserve unit and the ROTC he was always really busy anyway, and I was just fine with that.  It's his thing, he's really good at it, and it's what he wants to do -- I support him in every way I can.  Now they have put him in charge of the Ranger Challenge team for this year, and I am really excited for him because I know he has a lot to give... and a lot he can learn too.

But some stuff is going on, that makes it so the last few mornings this week I have woken up to a very angry husband stewing on the couch about something going on over there, and I feel totally and completely helpless. I hate feeling like I can't just march over there and give them a piece of my mind!  How dare they treat my sweet man that way!  So a grumpy husband makes for one very angry wife.

Then it seems, all that stress aside, I have been a magnet this week for total snobs.  That's right, a victim of social snobbery.  People who think they are better than others really gets me going!  I admit that I am not perfect, and sometimes I think I am a little better than some people... like druggies.  I am a good person who makes good choices (most of the time) and sometimes I tend to look down on people that make REALLY bad choices.  BUT the difference is, I don't treat them badly.  I always have a smile for everyone regardless how I feel inside.  I don't always want to be their friend, but smiling and being kind isn't inviting scary people into my life.  I try to always be polite and help people when I see them in need.  I often have to remind myself that I don't know certain people's situations and I don't know how they got that way, etc.

Snobs are people who not only think they are better than everyone else, but they treat others badly like they are inferior.  People like this don't only come from money either. I have known super snobs from every rung of the social ladder.  I just tell myself that in reality they are suffering from major insecurities and have to prey on other people to build themselves up.  These are sad people and I just can't stand to be around them.  Especially when it is me they are trying to pull down.

Snobs are everywhere, but I have noticed since Ben enlisted a few years ago, that there is a concentrated population of them in the military.  This really made me sad.  I thought military wives were suppose to be more mature and wise rather than petty and childish.  Rank has a lot to do with it... and I am not talking about the "snobby officer's wives" I read so much about on the military spouse forums.  In fact, I have never met a snobby officer's wife - they have always been very polite and kind even when Ben was just a Private.

I tell you, I have never in my life been treated so badly, than by an NCO's wife in Ben's former unit.  She was so rude to me that I started crying.... and I don't do that often.  I just wanted to ask her if she knew where some napkins were because Sam spilled his hot chocolate.  She didn't even let me finish my question, just went on about all sorts of stuff and started insulting me.  I was stunned because I had never even met her before and she was the head of the FRG and had planned the whole party.


But this week, my beef is with another wife.  I don't want to say too much because I don't want this getting back to her, and I am not one to talk bad about another particular military wife... or anyone for that matter.  I will say, that there is a wife around here that has issues that my Ben was enlisted before he joined the ROTC, like he was tainted by basic training or something like that.  She is so rude.  Every time I see her she actually sneers at me.  She'll cut me off when I am trying to park and once she slammed the door in my face when I stopped by to bring her a Christmas treat and wish her a Merry one.  She looks and treats me like the scum of the Earth.  And frankly, I don't believe I have done anything to deserve treatment like that.  The only thing I am guilty of is trying to be friendly and make some friends.

Good grief!

Well, better luck next week, right?



Lydia said...

I have been following your blog for quite sometime now, and you've never struck me as the sort of person who deserves such treatment. You're right, women like that suffer from insecurities and treat people that way out of an effort to build themselves up. I too have come in contact with one too many snobby wives in the military. I might even be viewed as one (by those wives), because I choose not to closely connect myself with any of them. Why would I want to be "good friends" with someone who treats people poorly simply because they "know" they're better? I'm sorry you've been treated this way. That's uncalled for and simply against any sort of common courtesy standards. Those in leadership positions are set at a higher standard and must treat people with respect. If they expect any form of respect from others, they need to exemplify it themselves. Sorry for the extended comment, but you've touched on a topic that often bugs me as well.

Cat said...

Thanks, Lydia! It has been a rough week. I know, and I usually do, that I need to take the higher road and just ignore mean people... but sometimes, it just hurts. I wish people would just get over themselves! I feel bad for them most of all, because I think of all the wonderful things they are missing out in by being so closed minded and un-excepting.

trooppetrie said...

oh man I could have written that. I hate when my hero is stressed about work. The snob part is my new life. My husband is a warrant officer and I never think anything about it. my best friends husband is enlisted and they live in enlisted housing. every time i go over or drop my kids off to her, her neighbors give her grief about being friends with me. my boys wear alot of name brand clothing but only because it was given to them. one day they were playing in the dirt while she kept them and they told her i would be mad. drives me batty