I have never been the "girl's night out" type. I would much rather spend my free time at home with the hubby and kiddos. They are my "gang" and we have fun doing things as a family. When I hear my friend's talk about getting together and going to dinner or a movie, all I think about is all the cool stuff I would rather being doing at home... no offence to any of my girl friends... but if Ben is going to be home with the boys, I want to be there too.
But the ROTC "significant others" want to do more activities and get a better support group going, and I have been torn about whether to help out or not. Ben was the deciding factor when he told me I needed to get out and make friends and have time away from him and the boys once in a while.
Last night they had a "girl's night out" dinner at a restaurant. And I was filled with anxiety at going, and for good reason! Here are a few:
1. When I am with large groups of people, I tend to get obnoxious and loud. I can't help it! I get excited! And I have a really loud voice... And it isn't like I am unaware of the fact, either. Stuff can be pouring out my mouth and I am sitting there thinking, "Cat, no one is even listening to you! And the ones that are, are looking horrified... shut up NOW!" And then I just can't....
2. I am so NOT shy that people think I am crazy... and I probably am.
3. The "small town" girl in me is willing to talk about just about anything, and I have little restraint sometimes...
So mostly, it's just safer that I stay at home.
However, last night Ben shooed me out the door. (I think he was anxious to play video Wii Lego games with the boys).
And... all of the above happened of course. I left the restaurant with both feet in my mouth and felt like a real weirdo as I got in my car... but I had fun anyway and I am glad that I went. I guess I will know if I freaked anyone out when I run into them around town and see if they run away or wave... that's the real test.