Monday, June 13, 2011

Father's Day: What NOT to Get Him!

Wives out there:  How many of us are banned from buying our husbands tools, ever?

I am sure that this scenario is VERY familiar:

It's a special holiday and we want to get our man something he would like for it.  "Hmmm..." we ask ourselves, "What would he like?"  Well, men like tools right?  They like to fix things, or learn to fix things.  It's in their genetic makeup.  So we pop on over to Wal-Mart or Shopko or some other cheap store to check out the manly aisle of tools.  After all, a screwdriver is a screwdriver, right?  You are totally thrilled when you find a fifty piece set on sale for 20 bucks!  Can't beat that!

You take home your prize, wrap it, and can't wait to see his face when he opens it and sees that he is now 50 tools richer all thanks to you and your brilliant plan.

You never saw it coming when he opened it, furrowed his eye brows, blinked a few times, then frowns.  What the...!?  "It's tools!  Don't you like it?"  Then they give you the awkward pause, where you KNOW they are trying to think of a nice way to say "What the heck where you thinking buying me these POS tools!?"

You know they are disappointed, but you can't figure out why.  Then they try to "kindly" explain that brand name is important.  And being a woman you just won't understand.  If the tool doesn't say DeWalt or Snap-On it's a piece of garbage.  What does it matter, you think.  Really?!

So the next time, you pop on line and look it up.  What!?  Seriously!?  Thirty bucks for a screwdriver!  Are you kidding me!?  Not going to happen, buddy!  Buy your own tools!

The funny thing about men, is that it's all about the name.  They "claim" it's about the quality and better warranty... but really?  We know men better than they think we do.  It's all about image and being "cool" in front of other men.  If it was all about "quality" and "warranty" they wouldn't be posting stickers like "If you like your hands, keep them off my SNAP-ON tools" on their trucks, tool boxes and other places other men can see them advertising their property.  As a woman, I had no idea of any of this until I got married.  I was always really confused when I saw men wearing "Snap-On" gear... I thought it was something lewd and nasty.  I mean what are we supposed to think when we see:  "Protect your nuts and bolts!  Snap-On!"?

And I never understood why my dad treated his "DeWalt" drill with such reverence.  And I still have nightmares of Ben skipping around the house when he found a used "DeWalt" hammer drill for 80 bucks last year.  Men are so weird!

Another thing I was forbidden to buy Ben was a pocket knife.  I learned that lesson after being married for 2 weeks.  The only thing men hate more than cheap tools is cheap knives.  But, we women have something that men have too, only we know how to use them:  Ears.  I listen to what Ben tells other people, make a mental note, and then I score big time come Christmas, his birthday, or Father's Day.  One day I heard him tell one of his friends that the only pocket knives worth owning, in his opinion are Gerber.  What? I thought.  Like the baby food?

So thanks to Google, I figured it out.  So last year for Father's Day I got Ben a Gerber Utility knife -- the boy scout edition.  He practically worshiped me for months!  He still wears it on his belt and believe it or not every time we go out I notice that just about every man we pass notices that Gerber knife on his belt.  I still can't believe the compliments and admiring looks he gets.  Again, men are weird.

When he was graduating from AT (Advanced Training) I wanted to get him one of those cool GPS watches that runners use.  He mentioned that he wanted one, but he never said what brand or what he wanted it to do.  So I took a stab in the dark and got him one off Amazon that got some great ratings.  It was a Garmin.  Apparently, I scored the BIG points for that purchase too.  Men don't skimp on electronics or especially GPS's.  With GPS's being Ben's thing, I was VERY lucky to get the right brand.  He scored instant "cool" points with the other soldiers.

But, being smart, as most of us are, we can use this to an advantage!  Especially having Father's Day around the corner.  Just follow the basic rules:  No cheap tools.  No cheap knives.  No cheap electronics.  So basically, if you have no money to spend on a 30 dollar screwdriver, stick with something you can't go wrong on, like video games... and you can always fall back on the classic Father's Day Tie.

However, if you have a bit of sassy in you, and would rather have your hubby drooling over you instead of a hammer drill, you can get something like this:
What every Manly Man wants to see on his wife!

Good Luck fellow wives, mother's and daughters on your Father's Day purchases.



Amy said...

LOL gunna have to get me one of those tee shirts... hahha

army_wife23 said...

lol very tre as am new to the blogging community and am as well a army wife..please check me out
im trying to make friends so please pass it on :)