Thursday, June 3, 2010

Yesterday I Lost it!

Lost what, you ask?

I lost my cool.

Not kidding.

I know, I am usually pretty calm about things, take everything in a cool matter.  Make assessments.  Mark my position, and know in an instant where the boys and I stand.

But for some reason, yesterday, I had had enough, and I cried.  And I cried.  And even a little bit more...

Now, I do NOT want any pity.  I had just had one of those days where life builds up until it feels overwhelming! But a good cry... ahhh.... felt really good.  When it was over, I felt better and I was able to push on.

Sam had his pre-preschool graduation.  You may remember his pre-pre-preschool graduation last year.  He still has one more year there until kindergarten, but they let him participate anyway.  Like all moms, I have this anxiety for my little guy.  It hurts me beyond anything to see him on the playground with "normal" kids and they either pick on him (see this post), just ignore him, or refuse to play.  Now, Sammy isn't exactly Mr. Social, but he really does try to make friends, but you know kids at that age, they don't understand "different" or why that kid "talks funny."  It breaks my heart, but that's just life.

So at Sam's school yesterday, I asked one of his teachers if he had any friends.  If the kids liked to play with him.  She just laughed.  She then told me that Sammy was one of the most popular kids in the class!  She told me that EVERYONE wanted to do what Sammy does because he is so independent that he becomes the natural leader.  Which surprised me because I never see him with the kids at school.... but it shouldn't have.  Sam almost the shortest kid in his class... and isn't it always the short guys that lead the pack?

Anyway, then she said, "In fact, see that little girl over there?"  She pointed to a cute little girl with pigtails.  "That is Sammy's girlfriend."

"WHAT!?!?!?  Are you serious!?"

"Yeah," she said.  "They do everything together and even hold hands."

Well, I'll be.... You little stud....

Then she added:  "But I think Sam might have broken it off because she got a little clingy and he needs his space, you know."  I looked at the little girl who was looking at Sam, who in turn was focused on his cookie. Isn't that how it is?!  It doesn't matter how old you are.  Men don't like clingy women, and men like their food.  Food is dependable and always there...

So, anyway, I came home weighing these revelations about my boy on my mind.  When Ben springs some news on me.  I hate certain kinds of surprises and change of plans and schedules are definitely those kinds.  Between work, school, and the Army, I have precious little time with him... like 3 hours at night tops if I am lucky!  Now he has a new responsibility that will take him away every night now too.  That was the straw that broke the camel's back.  And the tears flowed.

Finally, I told myself I could deal with it and I just needed to buck up.  So I did.  I feel better now.  So no worries.  Besides, there are more things to look forward to, than not!  Right!?

Other news: 

I did want to point out that I messed up my 120 Mile Fitness Challenge Calendars.  For the explanation see my right sidebar.  I will try to get those replaced with new ones today. UPDATE:  I just posted the new calendars, so no worries there!!

I am taking new challengers up until this Saturday.  I extended it because I am still having sign ups coming in.  So far we have just a few over 50!!  Woo Hoo!!!  This is going to be so blasted fun!  I would take sign ups for longer, but I doubt people would have the motivation to catch up, and a week of catch-ups can be daunting.  So I decided that definitely, Saturday is the last day.

I am still looking for sponsors, if any one is interested.  Even if you just have a blog and you want some advertisement on Fridays, I will accept monetary donations because there are some great prizes I would LOVE to give out, but I can only budget so much out of pocket.  I will be accepting sponsor's throughout the whole summer... never to late to donate.  So if you have a blog that needs traffic, a small business that needs some customers, or anything else... or if you know someone who may be interested, just send me an email and we can work something out.  Just remember, there are over 50 challengers that are going to be popping in here on Fridays to check out all the updates, that's at least 50 people who will see your ad...

Have a great day, my friends, and don't forget to pop by tomorrow for our first 120 mile Summer Fitness Challenge Update!!



the lovely paper shop said...

we all have those days!!!

and oh a lighter note, i really like your blog layout!

i am a new follower!:)

Emily said...

Uh oh. Sounds like Ben has a calling. :) Those always come at the most inconvenient times right?? Super excited to see you in a couple weeks though. At least you'll get a few days of break from the rush of life then right??