I love, love, LOVE to serve other people. You know, take meals to the sick, watch kids for friends who need a break for free, take treats to my neighbors, etc. But I have a really hard time letting others help me.
I don't know why. I just do!
I learned to let others help me when Ben was gone for so long. Helping out with the kids and all that, but it wasn't easy. And it's even harder for me to actually ASK for help. Mostly, I just do things by myself.
And I think this attitude is what got me pneumonia in the first place.
When I got that fever, I just should have taken it easy. But instead, I just popped a couple Tylenol and off I went! I feel like such an idiot. I think Ben's attitude of "suck it up" has rubbed off on me too much!
So here I am, sick, helpless, and needy. Good grief, I HATE associating that horrid word "needy" with me.
I hate sitting in bed all day watching Buffy on Netflix (I know, it's actually a pretty good show when you're on codeine... lol). I hate asking Ben to do all the housework, and knowing he really, REALLY doesn't want to do it. I hate ditching the kids on him when he is home, and asking him to miss out on some hours at work. I hate asking my friends to watch the boys while he is gone so I can sleep this off. I hate not being able to go to the store, or stand in the kitchen and cook without getting dizzy and a headache.
Yesterday afternoon, a lady from my church called. She had heard from the church grapevine that I had pneumonia and told me that they had some meals set up for us for the next couple days. Which means that some of the sisters in the church were going to make us dinner and bring it to us. This is really hard for me to accept because I really don't want to be trouble, and I am usually the one making the meals! I told her that we were okay, but she told me I needed to basically chill out and let them help us for a couple of nights. So I graciously accepted.
Needless to say, Ben was thrilled! He LOVES it when other people bring us food and demonstrated his unconcealed happiness by doing the "No More Ramen Noodles Jig of Joy".
I truly believe that every challenge in life is meant to teach us something. Either we can come out stronger and wiser for it, or not. I choose to learn from my trials and I know that I need to learn to let others help me sometimes. I am not perfect (I know, shocking revelation!) and I can't do it all by myself. I love to serve, and I know that I need to let others have their turn to serve me too. So, I am not going to worry about it, just sit back and relax and know that this too shall pass... hopefully, sooner rather than later, right?