Tuesday, January 5, 2010

No.

You know those days when you just feel like staying in bed and hiding from the world? Today was one of those days.

It started out well enough, I was actually feeling better about myself because I was feeling healthy and happy and cured of my ever-lasting sinus infection. Who wouldn't be happy about that?

Then I had to get social and got a little bombed on. Don't worry, if you are one of the 100 friends I communicated with today, chances are it wasn't you who dropped one on my blond head.

One of my many character flaws is that I am very opinionated. I can't help it! I just tend to form ideas about everything. However, I do try to be open to other people's ideas and even when I don't agree, I have a firm "agree to disagree and move on" policy that has saved me many friendships that I would hate to lose because of petty differences.

I love having friends of all different sorts and stay away from cliques the best I can. I try not to judge people to harshly, give everything the benefit of the doubt, and I really love smiling at people and greeting them and sometimes serving them. I like to give advice, well meaning -- who doesn't? -- and I don't get offending if it isn't taken and I don't nag... at least I don't mean to. And I love getting advice too. There are a lot of people out there that know more what they are doing in certain instances than I do, and I really appreciate well meaning tips and pushes in the right direction. I even try to thank people if I took their advice and let them know how it went... people like that, makes them feel good to know they helped another person.

However, I have this other little character flaw... I don't like being nagged and pushed when I already said "no". And sometimes I can get a little short with people who ignore me, treat me like I have idiot tattooed my forehead and keep nagging me to do what they want me to do. I have no issues with saying "no" and I think I say it in the nicest way possible... I really do... for the first 5 times, then I get a little snippy and my well meaning friend gets a little put out. I am sorry for that. I really am. But honestly, "no" means "no".

There are so things I will never change. So let's just get this out right now, right here so there won't be any more confusion. I am a stay-at-home mom, who thinks God gave us disposable diapers, bottled water, Clorox wipes, electricity, small companies with awesome customer service, Walmart, epidurals, antibiotics and immunizations for a purpose. I don't liter and recycle my plastic grocery bags. I am a Conservative Mormon. And I love, love, LOVE my family.

However...

I respect your opinion. I love my readers. And I like you just the way you are! I don't care what color, religion, culture, marital status or political affiliation you are. I don't care if you are ultra green or ultra something else. It doesn't matter to me where you work, whether or not you have gone to school or prefer to work at Burger King. And it certainly isn't important to me the choices you make in your life to make you you. Because, well, I like you for being YOU and I VALUE you for your differences. What would this world be like if we were all the same??

I value you, and everything you are. And I love that you share a part of yourself with me every time you leave me a comment or email me. No matter what we believe, aren't we all living for the same goal in the end? To live a happy life. Isn't that what it all comes down to?

All I ask is one thing. That it's alright to "agree to disagree" and no nagging. Now, if you are going to be looking at my last posts and comments to see what the heck I am talking about, don't bother because all this I said isn't because of anything that happened here -- and even a bit is a about a really horrible dream I had that got me in a bad mood to begin with... but this being the New Year, I just want to make it one of my goals not to be one of the people I mentioned above. If I have unknowingly nagged you and pushed you, I am really sorry... hope we can still be friends :)


PS Now that I have reviled many of my character flaws, feel free to share some of your own so I don't feel like I am standing out here naked :)

3 comments:

Sarah said...

That's a huge pet peeve for me because I hate to say no. If I have to say it again, then I feel like I'm being mean and the person pressuring me is being manipulative. They probably don't mean to, but that's the way it comes across. My close friends know when I say "no", I have a good reason and they don't ask, "Why not?" I bend over backwards for my friends, but sometimes I have to say no.

Hope tomorrow is better for you. :) I'm a new reader, by the way. My main blog is private. And on the subject, someone got mad at me because I didn't send them an invite. I explained that I wasn't comfortable and why. Then she proceeded to bring it up in front of everyone and their mother. Ugh.

Amanda said...

I'm in the same boat, hate to say no to anyone unless it's a moral or personal issue.

One of the worst times was during my pregnancy- the moms teamed up on us because we wanted to enjoy the birth of our first child by ourselves. They literally tag- team called me everyday;begging for us to reconsider, until I really let my mom have it. I was too scared to blow up at my MIL- so I called my hubby and said,
"Well, I laid things out for my mom,it's your turn!"

I hated doing it, but some people just think that their opinions or way of life is best for everyone. You can only passively nod and smile for so long before the pestering gets annoying.
Your just a normal woman on a typical bad day. I'm sure it doesn't help being a "single mom" again either. If people can't understand that you are hurting right now, let them move on!

elzimmy said...

I can hold a grudge like nobody's business. If you cross me, you are cut off (probably forever), end of story.

Probably not my best personality trait.