Then I wake up.
And I am sad.
Have you ever had a dream, that you knew would never come true. Running is was my dream. Why? Because I could never do it. Even when I was a kid, I hated running because I just couldn't do it. My lungs would start hurting, or my legs, and I would have to stop after a minute or two, never longer. I blamed it on my ankles or my knees, or even my genes. I claimed that I hated running. It was boring and dumb... mostly because my body wouldn't cooperate. It just wasn't fair! All the other kids could do it. Why couldn't I?
My mom let me stay home from school once a year. That dreaded Friday at the end of the school year, that the other fitter kids looked forward to. I, on the other hand, hated "Field Day!" Mostly, because I got teased and called names when I came in last on the long run. Mom, I love her for this, spared me that, and I still owe her one or two for letting me hang out with her that day.
College's "Fit for Life" was a one credit class, and I got an incomplete because I couldn't run the mile.
Jogging and running have been the bane of my existance... forever.
Would I, could I, ever get over this??
Walking is good.
The Elliptical at the gym rocks.
And I have gotten really good at my stationary bike and the Wii Fit.
But the treadmill has silently mocked me from afar, daring me to jump on and make a fool out of myself. To tear down what I have left of self-dignity.
Last night, I got a baby sitter to come sit at my house after I put the boys down so I could head on over to the gym. I try to get over there once a week since Ben left, it will be so nice when I can go more though. But once a week, I'll take what I can get!!
I was feeling particularly peppy last night and cranked a big 2 miles in 20 min on a level 10 on the elliptical. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, I felt I might as well go another 10 minutes and do 3 miles. Then I heard it... the voice...
"Cat..." it whispered all creepily to me. Coming from behind me.
It was my nemesis, Mr. Treadmill.
"Come do your last mile on me..." It taunted sarcastically.
"Shove it!" I told him, as I headed for the drinking fountain.
"Chicken..." it sneered.
Well, I reasoned, it wouldn't hurt to do a little cool down on the treadmill, right?
So I headed on over and hopped on.
As I messed with the buttons, I thought, even though I am a bit tired, I wonder if I can run longer than a minute now. It had been a while since I tried. It wouldn't hurt. If I am lucky, I might be able to do 2 minutes! Wouldn't that be cool?
So off I went.
It didn't feel as hard as I remembered.
I kept it steady at 5 miles an hour, and chugged a long. One minute passed... two minutes passed... and before I knew it, 5 whole minutes had gone by and I was still running along!!! Incredible! I felt my spirits rise, and a joy filled my soul and made me fly... metaphorically speaking, of course.
I kept going. And before my legs started getting tired, my chest started to hurt and I was having a hard time breathing. But I looked at my stats: 0.90 miles. Just .1 more and I ran a whole mile!!!!!! No way!!! I knew I could do it! So I pressed forward.
I did it.
And instead of doing the dance of joy, I started to cry like a baby. Yeah, the gym people probably thought I was certifiable. But I'll tell you, when you make a goal that has only lived in your dreams for so long... well, you know what I mean, crying, lots of crying is bound to happen.
So, I, Cat, ran my first mile in 12 min and 45 sec last night... living proof that dreams do come true.
Starting weight: 279
Goal Loss: 80 pounds
Last week's Total lost: 62 pounds
This week's loss: 2 pounds -- down to 215 lbs
Total lost: 64 pounds
I think I did pretty good, especially since I wasn't really trying. But I'll take it! Besides, only 8 more days and my man will be in these skinnier arms!!! Woo Hoo can't wait!!
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