Thursday, October 1, 2009


It's always driven me a bit crazy that the world's definition of a strong woman is a successful career woman. When really, I think a strong woman is one that is tested in many ways and always seems to rise up and overcome the trials of life to become stronger.

My strength has been tested in so many ways in my life, as I am sure all of you can testify to the same in your own. Have we always passed the tests? No. Not always. Do we learn from them? Hopefully. Are we stronger because of them? I know I am.

Having a special needs child is something I never planned on... who does? I think it has been one of the hardest things in my life. Sam has forced me to think outside the box, and look within myself for the strength to do what I need to do. Sam's problems have made me a stronger woman and mother in my own right.

But I don't think I have ever been tested as a woman, mother, or wife as much as having Ben out of the home picture. Sometimes I get so frazzled I want to get in a box and send myself priority to Virginia to be with him. I find myself hiding from the kids, just to get a moment alone. I actually fed them a bag of Reese's Pieces yesterday just so I could do the dishes!

I find myself thinking of all the amazing woman out there that have to do it alone too. Whether they are military wives or single moms, or even women who have husbands that are gone a lot. I think, if they can do it, so can I! I really look up to these kindred spirits, and hope that one day I will be as strong as they.

We all have something to work for, something we really want. I hope that someday, my kids will look to me as an example of strength and that I will be worthy of the title.

I want to thank all my friends out there who have been examples to me. You're strong women! You're heroes.

How do you measure strength?


Kimberly said...

Hang in there :) It is really tough to have our husbands away from home. My hubby will be deployed for two of the next four years soon and I'm dreading it. I went through one 6month deployment before we had kids and I remember the cycles of my emotions while he was gone, from sadness to boredom to thinking "I can do this" to this isn't so bad to sadness all over again.

Strength is something I've learn has ebbs and flows of its own. Now that we have two daughters I hope I will be stronger during his deployments in order to make sure our children are happy.

I think part of my strength actually comes from other moms like you, knowing we are going through the same thing and helping each other with it. :)

Lydia said...

Being s military wife is not easy, yes there are others who's husbands are gone a lot or who there is no man in their life at all, But a military wife has its own challenges, I have for years called myself a married single mom, 2 deployments plus many TDY and in the field time that My sweetie has missed much of our lives. But so far he has come home and the time together is even more special.

Hang in there Ben will come home and you can be together and have the help that you are a custom to, and while he is gone the Lord helps make us strong.

We can handle anything!!!

Tobi said...

When my hubby is away and I start to get depressed I start counting all the positives of him being deployed. Full control of the remote. Grocery bill is significantly smaller. Get to have a second honeymoon when we are finally reunited. You know what I mean? =) Those little positives help me get through the day. That and chocolate.

Sherri said...

Strenth of Love, of Friendship of Spirit. A knowledge of who we are helps, but we need to remember that we will are having those really hard times. That is when you need the strength of Friends, who love you no matter what. So you can find your Spirit and your own strength once again.

Otter Thomas said...

I have been travelling a lot and I know how hard it is on my wife. You are doing a great job. I know it is hard. Stay strong.

Single Mama NYC said...

Yes, sweet Cat, being a single mama can be hard sometimes. Ok, a lot of times, lol. Seeing as how I've always done it alone, maybe I've come into my own rhythm and so I forget how challenging it is. Or maybe it's because I only have 1 toddler instead of 2 that I manage somehow. But Sammy having special needs is only God's way of telling you He has faith you are the best Mommy for the job, so never fear. And you always have me to vent to! :-)

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

Oh sweet girl, I so relate... that thinking outside the box with a special need is something you just cant anticipate, can you?

You're a good mama, keep it up!

Mama Nut said...

Wow, thanks everyone for your encouraging comments! You have no idea how all of you have up lifted me today and made things so much easier!

I feel so blessed to have found such great friends!

Jill said...

If I'm being truthful, your strength has given me so much strength. I admire how you have handled this new "test" in your life. Know that I really think highly of you. :)

Emily said...

Hey Cat!!

Good post. I tell Rob that the more kids we have the less chance there is that we will get divorced because I can't do it without him! :) I actually was pretty proud of myself for getting the house picked up and cleaned, kids fed, bathed, teeth and hair brushed and both of them into bed tonight by 9 before Rob got home. I, too, admire the women who do this day after day by themselves. They, and you, truly are the definition of strength and definitely deserve more recognition!!