Tuesday, September 1, 2009

How the Army does Blood Drives

When Ben called me the other day, he told me the funniest story and I have to share! It's just too good not to pass on!

The other day, some of the commanding officers told Ben's whole company, about 300 soldiers, that they were all going to go to the blood drive. So they marched all the soldiers into a big gym and had them stand there.

Now, if any of you have ever given blood, you will remember filling out a paper with very private info about yourself to determine whether or not you are eligible to donate. I am talking things that no one would ever want their mother's to know, let alone all their friends.

So here are 300 soldiers in a gym standing in formation. One the people in charge instructed them that if they had any of the following things, then they needed to leave the group and go stand in another area of the gym. The Army had no time for them to fill out little papers... You can probably guess what came next.

"Please stand over by the wall if any of you have ever paid for sex!" The instructor shouted out. Ben said he was horrified to see about 15 guys leave the group. We live a sheltered life... LOL.

"... If you have spend anytime in these countries..." The instructor then listed off a bunch of countries. At this Ben had to leave the group because he was born in Germany and lived there for a few years. According to the blood people, he was a potential carrier of Mad Cow Disease. Which I find very funny and extremely unlikely. About 20 other guys had to leave too.

"Leave the group if you have had a tattoo in the last 6 months." Ben said like 50 more guys left the group.

"If you have had any kind of piercing in the last 6 months, ears included." Another 50 or so left, including his Drill Sargent... who, everyone noticed did not have pierced ears. When the DS noticed that everyone was staring at him, he said, "Don't even think about asking!!"

By the time they got to the end of the list, out of a company of 300 only 20 guys remained to donate blood. They were told that they better be tough, because they were taking double blood today! Two pints!

Ben said he didn't feel too bad being a Mad Cow carrier this time. My question is, if you are donating double blood, does that mean you get double cookies too after?


Pam said...

I guess when you join the military you check your privacy at the door.

Tobi said...

When you join the military you check your privacy, your shame, and your dignity at the door. Only your sense of humor will help you survive. =)

Great story Cat! Thanks for sharing.

Our Family said...

Man, I feel bad for those 20!

Jill said...

Wow. I laughed but at the same time, it's kind of sad. However, I would have been glad not to have to do double blood, too. Those poor guys. It's like getting punished, not rewarded.

Lydia said...

That sounds about right, I am glad that my hubby did the basic not me. I have a hard time being told what to do.

Practically Perfect... said...

Oh my word, that is hilarious! Sounds like a very time efficient way of sorting through potential donors, though!

Meagan and John said...

see they could have named everything off then made them all exit at once rather than a few at a time--that way nobody knew which had left the country, got piercings, or PAID FOR SEX!?!

I love how EVERYBODY noticed that he didn't have pierced ears...I am starting to wonder just what was pieced

Well, I wonder how truthful they all where about the questionaire since they did expose the truth, like some may have waited till the leave the country question to walk away when infact they had paid for you know what...isn't their also a question pertaining to homosexual activities on that questionare? what happened to the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, or is that just with the navy?

Mama Nut said...

well, a lot of the questions they don't have to ask, because the guys wouldn't be in the Army if some of it was true. Also they did not ask about the homosexual stuff... mostly because if they had and issues with HIV or something like that, again, they wouldn't be in the Army... Know what I mean?

Otter Thomas said...

America's finest aren't good enough to give blood. At least not in the blood drive way. This strikes me as incredibly ironic.

Deb S. said...

Just found your blog! So cute! A super big thank you to your hubby. I am a Army mom. My 23 y.o. son and 21 y.o. daughter are serving also. Your post made me think of a pic I got from my daughter last week. It was of her arm with a I.V. in it and blood everywhere! The caption read "Letting the medics practices on us, the one working on me took 6 tries". Yikes! Im too young to have heart failure over this!LOL!

Catherine said...

Woo Hoo! Thanks Deb! I love to find more Army Family friends! Makes me feel not so alone. Thanks to this blog, I have found lots, it's been great. I couldn't have done it without you guys and your great advice!

And my other great friends too, who think I am more amazing than I am... makes me feel real good :)