Tuesday, September 1, 2009
How the Army does Blood Drives
When Ben called me the other day, he told me the funniest story and I have to share! It's just too good not to pass on!
The other day, some of the commanding officers told Ben's whole company, about 300 soldiers, that they were all going to go to the blood drive. So they marched all the soldiers into a big gym and had them stand there.
Now, if any of you have ever given blood, you will remember filling out a paper with very private info about yourself to determine whether or not you are eligible to donate. I am talking things that no one would ever want their mother's to know, let alone all their friends.
So here are 300 soldiers in a gym standing in formation. One the people in charge instructed them that if they had any of the following things, then they needed to leave the group and go stand in another area of the gym. The Army had no time for them to fill out little papers... You can probably guess what came next.
"Please stand over by the wall if any of you have ever paid for sex!" The instructor shouted out. Ben said he was horrified to see about 15 guys leave the group. We live a sheltered life... LOL.
"... If you have spend anytime in these countries..." The instructor then listed off a bunch of countries. At this Ben had to leave the group because he was born in Germany and lived there for a few years. According to the blood people, he was a potential carrier of Mad Cow Disease. Which I find very funny and extremely unlikely. About 20 other guys had to leave too.
"Leave the group if you have had a tattoo in the last 6 months." Ben said like 50 more guys left the group.
"If you have had any kind of piercing in the last 6 months, ears included." Another 50 or so left, including his Drill Sargent... who, everyone noticed did not have pierced ears. When the DS noticed that everyone was staring at him, he said, "Don't even think about asking!!"
By the time they got to the end of the list, out of a company of 300 only 20 guys remained to donate blood. They were told that they better be tough, because they were taking double blood today! Two pints!
Ben said he didn't feel too bad being a Mad Cow carrier this time. My question is, if you are donating double blood, does that mean you get double cookies too after?