Saturday, September 12, 2009

Get Your Hands Off My Kid!!

Alright, I am the first to admit that my kids are a little mischievous. Well, that's an understatement. They get in trouble and do naughty things, but what kid doesn't right?

Yesterday was a complete disaster! And hopefully over time the memories will fade, the pain will lessen, and hopefully history will NOT repeat itself in our home!

After a long day of screaming, fighting, losing a 10 pound bag of sugar to my carpet, and countless timeouts, I had had it with the boys and should have put them down to bed and hit the sack myself at 4 pm. Instead I went with a group of friends to a family festival at the university. Every department had a both with family friendly games, free stuff, and displays. They also had food and music.

The boys had a great time! Sammy really loved the bug booth because you could look at the bugs through a magnified glass. He was also intrigued by the Engineering guys who had a flight simulator set up, and a remote controlled tank with a camera and eye piece. The engineers LOVED Sam. Sammy is brilliant with electronics and they could NOT believe he was only three. This is where all the people from the local papers and school bulletin came over and started taking pictures of him because it was just so dang cute!Nephi was a little confused in virtual world... But he loved the "hat!"

Mostly it all went smoothly until the last booth. They had a bunch of kiddie pools set up with water toys inside. There were no other kids there, so I let the boys play freely. Sam got attached to a little water funnel thing where you pour the water in and wheel spins. They were playing so nicely until a group of kids and their moms came.

Immediately, one of the little girls tried to grab Sam's water toy. He was fast as lightening and grabbed it first so she couldn't get it. Her mom started freaking out when the girl proceeded to throw a tantrum. I had no problem over what Sam did, he was playing with the toy... and I believe in sharing and taking turns as much as any mom, but I didn't expect him to give it up right off because some other kid wanted it NOW. Besides, I have noticed that if I stand out a while, the kids can usually solve their own problems. So I watched as the mom started to reason with Sam to give up the toy. Sam said, "No."

Then I couldn't believe my eyes when the MOTHER started to grab the toy out of Sam's arms demanding that he give it to her and that the was naughty for not sharing. This was my cue to step in.

By the time I got there, a split second, the mother was yelling at Sam, because she couldn't get the toy away from him. She called him some names that I wouldn't ever call my own child, and she was violently and physically shaking him to pull the toy out of his fingers. Sam was screaming and crying. I was livid and scooped up Sam who was still holding tightly to the toy.

"Let go of my son!!" I yelled in her face. Mama bear was here, watch out!
"He won't share with my daughter!" She yelled back at me, her face red with anger.
"How old are you!?" I snapped rudely. She was completely taken aback.
"You need to teach your son how to share!" She spat.
"And you need to teach your brat how to take turns!" I retorted. Yeah, so I wasn't being to nice, but I could seriously sue this woman for accosting my boy. I took the toy away from Sam and shoved it at her.
"Actually, lady, you should be ashamed of yourself. We're going now, but I want you to know that you just physically attacked my special needs child, and if I wasn't in such a good mood right now, I would press charges." The look on her face almost made me laugh as I took my boys and walked away. Hopefully, she will never forget that next time she decides to act like a preschooler.

Have you ever had an adult try to discipline one of your own? Did you react better than I did?


Jill said...

Oh man.... Where to begin! People wonder where their child gets the bullying from. Um, hello, from watching their parents. (I'm referring to the other lady, not you. You were defending your child. There's a difference.) I'm glad you said something to her. I think I would have had to as well. Good on ya Cat, Good on ya!

Jill said...

I guess I was supposed to share an experience of my own. Well, I haven't had too many strangers try and discipline my child. But I've had NUMEROUS people come up to me in a store while I was disciplining and trying to offer advice. I've tried to remain polite and be calm when they do, but I've gotten to the point where I can't anymore. They don't know my situation. They don't know my child's "needs." And really, they should keep their nose out of it. So lately I say something to the effect that "I'm his mother and I'll handle it." If they persist, I usually say "Do you have a child with autism?" That usually does the trick. I hate to "out" my son like that -especially in public, because it isn't their business. But it usually helps them to realize their error in stepping into be a quasi-parent. Not a good idea. :)

Mama Nut said...

Yeah, I hate "outing" Sam's issues too... but I will to prove an important point now and then. said...

Horrible... some mothers can be so blinded by their "self" involvement with their children.

Tay said...

It hasn't happened *yet* to my child, but I'm over nursery in my ward. And let me tell you. The nursery leaders in the next ward crossed the line. I had one kid left who was playing quietly by himself. Most of the other ward's kids were in there playing by then (note: playing, not getting ready for a lesson or anything) and he wasn't causing problems, so I was packing up and getting ready to leave and walk him around to his mom. And then the lady grabbed him and started WALKING HIM OUT OF THE ROOM. What?!?!?! So I was like, hey, that's not for you to do. She's kinda old so I wasn't into back-talking her and just took her "He needs to be taken to his mom" with grace and dignity. But I wanted to put her in her place so bad. And talk to her bishop. And primary president. Luckily that ward hasn't gotten out 15 minutes early again.

Farmer*swife said...

Holy Freekin' Pieville! I would have been furious too. Nothing wrong with sharing, and not over domineering a toy for the entire play session.

But, they had just walked up for crying out loud. And, with you there, she should have inquired to you. Maybe she thought his mom wasn't there? I dunno....

You handled it well. I've had to step in with another child and my own when the other child was in the wrong or out of hand -- some parents just don't even catch these things. Too busy chatting with their other Mommy friends.

But, I would never call a child a name/s. And, I am informative and teaching to both the children involved. Even if the child is rude, I'd never over-step my bounds. As I know that often it isn't the child, it's the parent's fault for not mentoring better.

Geeze oh'Pete!

Sara Richins said...

You handled it much better than I would have. Charges would have been pressed if it was me. For her to jump to that so fast, makes me think she does that to her child and has done it to other kids.
I have had to deal with another child who was bullying my kid. His parents don't watch him when he was outside playing in the triad, so I would have to parent him as well. I never touched him, but I did tell him that what he was doing was wrong and to keep his hands, feet and body to himself and to stay away from my kid. He listened to me, but I had to talk to him every time we went outside to play.

Shan B. said...

Geez!!! The nerve of some people. How bout she make her kid wait a few minutes before doing anything & tell her kid that she could wait. And she called him names!!! I'm so glad you stepped in. I know that sometimes I get too chatty with my friends but I would NEVER do that. Just yesterday my friends son totally whopped my kid on the back & I just told him that hitting isn't nice & his mom took care of the rest. I hope that mom actually remembers this encounter for a long, long, long time!!!!

DaveandRuth said...

I would have lost my mind. I would have reacted the exact same way, because I am so protective of all my children. Probably the reason why the youngest refuses to go to nursery on Sundays. I have been "subing" in primary for months. She just comes with me. I guess I will be camped out in nursery until January, when she can go to primary with the rest of her siblings! Good luck! I fear people treating my special needs daughter like that.

Amy said...

Wow.. what a.... well I won't call her naames on here... but.. really?!?! It's is amazing what some parents will do. That is truly unbelievable Cat... Wow. YOu seemed to handle it well enough :)

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

That is seriously INSANE!! Makes you wonder what goes on in people like that's houses! What a freak!

Tobi said...

I can't believe that mom just totally freaked out like that. I would have lost it with her too. Although I don't know if I would have been as articulate as you. When I get upset the speech part of my brain seems to turn off. Way to go Cat! =)

Otter Thomas said...

I hope that never happens to me because I will lose my cool worse than you did. I can't believe how peopel act sometimes. Your line asking how old she was is hilarious. Way to go.

Meagan and John said...

You know I can't believe that lady one bit, I mean seriously, I know stuff like that has happened to us but I can't think of any specifics right now, oh yes I can, I had someone fix my computer and when he came to drop it off, his wife came with him and we were talking and the kids were playing and she kept yelling at them, anyhow that upset me a bit but then to help them out one day I let her come and clean for me and she spanked the kids I babysit and made them sit infront of the TV while I continued to insist that they didn't need to sit infront of the TV--she didn't get the hint, needless to say, there has only been one other time i have let her come over and it was only cause i was in a super bind and had no other choice

seriously I can't believe the nerve some people have, and worst yet are the parents who laugh when you point out that their kids are being little twirps--I realize they might not know what to day but to laugh only encourages the kids to misbehave--

did I ever mention how much i hate little kids that scream because they know they will get what they want because their parents will do anything to shut them up--and we wonder why our prisons are overflowing

Pam said...

Something similar did happen to me once on the playground and while I sputtered a reply to the offending (and offensive) mom, my friend calmly said "Why are you being so rude?" That shut her up. We scooped up our kids and walked away with our heads held high.

I think you did fine, especially considering the fact that she was actually physically touching your child. You acted admirably. Good for you!

{jordan} said...

AAAACCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!! What the crap? How do people even sleep at night? I would NEVER dream of doing that to anyone's child- I would have cried. Way to go and stand up to her! You are my hero.

As always.

Can I get some lessons?

Single Mama NYC said...

Cat, you handled that superbly. I'm afraid I wouldn't have done such a good job. While the Buddhist in me would've wanted to handle it in a gentle, enlightened way - the New Yorker in me would've probably beaned her with the toy. Ashamed to admit it, but it's the truth. Don't mess with my kid!!!

Amanda said...

I hate that!!! I have a 8 month old who is not taking to solid foods right away and so many of the old ladies in our church are always on my case! Okay...he is only like 14 lbs and is going through seperation issues now..anyways,I let an older woman watch him during an ice cream social after church and my friend comes and whispers in my ear to go get my child.She was hiding in a corner...surrounded by other old ladies to block my view...and feeding him ice cream while he was screaming! I don't know how many times I have to tell these people that I had alot of funky allergies during my pregnancy and to not feed him!When I told them that giving him dairy before 1yr will give him lactose intolerance they were all like," we did to our kids"...etc.
Well,duh! You chose what was right for your kids and I think I deserve the same rights!!!
I get so sick of everyone telling me about my child.He's small okay! I'm 5'2"and my hub's 5'4"...use your head! He's not gonna want 2 jars of food before church! Babies cry.Get over it!!

Terra said...

Holy Cow!! You are much more patient than I am.. I think I might have hit that woman. hahaha... I'm not one for confrontation, but I would have lost it. One time, my son was running down the isle at Ross when some guy said, "watch it" in a mean and rude way...Well, my husband and that guy got in a little fight... bwahahah... I don't think that guy will talk to another child like that! :)