But today, I decided that I couldn't put off getting a new bra any more! I have been putting it off since I stopped nursing Nephi... oh, yeah, you heard right, I am still wearing my nursing bra because I am too cheap to go spend $40 on a new one. I hate bra shopping!!
Now, the only ones that fit like I like 'em are at Victoria's Secret -- but I have to drive an hour to the nearest one, in a mall. So I packed the kids off, made sure my purse was stuffed with diapers, wipes, and snacks; and off we went.
Needless to say, the car ride was a complete joy! Can you read the sarcasm there?
Anyway, we finally get to the mall and go in. Did I mention that I hate going to malls? Aside from the fact that everything is so expensive, I HATE the salesman people with their little booths in the middle of the mall halls. I hate feeling pressured and used. I hate that they give you complements, but don't mean them, they just want you to buy their product. The constant nagging and calling out to me while I am walking to my destination, irritates me beyond belief.
I am a nice person, mostly. But sales people REALLY bring out the worst in me.
This is what happened today:
I had Nephi in an umbrella stroller, and Sam was walking with me. I wanted him to get his wiggles out before we had to get back in the car. But Sam was being Sam and kept running ahead.
Out pops sales lady.
"Hi would you like to try some lotion?"
"Well, I am busy chasing my kid down." I started to walk past her when she grabbed my hand.
"Oh, my gosh! You have the worst looking nails and cuticles EVER!"
"Sam! Get your butt over here!! What?! My nails...?" At this point she whips out this buffer brick thing and starts buffing my nails.
"Sam! I am NOT kidding! Get over here!" I start to pull away as I see Sam duck into a music store, but buffer-woman won't let go of my hand. Sam suddenly comes back out and runs over to me to see why I am not chasing him.
"Has anyone ever told you that you are a very beautiful woman?" she said to me in a thick Spanish accent.
"Yes, my husband tells me all the time," I reply, knowing she really doesn't mean it, she just wants to buy this buffer thing.
"You're married?!" she asks her eyes wide with shock. If I wasn't so easy going, I would be a little offended here. Duh, lady! Here I am with two kids in tow, and you are buffing my nails on the hand I wear my wedding ring!
"No fair," she said. "I'm not married... no one wants to marry me..." she whined. Hmmmm... I wonder why, I thought to myself. Instead I muttered, "Bummer."
Then she starts going on her sales pitch, all the while holding my hand so I couldn't get away. At one point she even turned and yelled at Sam to come back. But she just kept talking and talking and I was so busy trying to keep Sam in my sights and Nephi in stroller that I didn't even notice that I was handing my debit card over and I had bought not one but TWO funny buffer bricks!! Ahh!
I started to run away at this point, when sales-lady pops back in front of me! What the *&%$#@!!??
"I forgot to tell you, that you have terrible acne!" She said to me in a tone of voice like she cares. I touched my face, my ONE zit from PMSing.
"What?! I also get a zit or two when I am PMS."
"But your skin looks like you haven't showered since last Christmas! Now if you had this special facial mask you would look younger and not ever have zits." The little con.... I KNEW this was a lie. I have great skin. And I recent being told I looked like I haven't taken a shower since Christmas!!
"Look, I need to go before I lose my kid in the mall." She got this angry look on her face and kept pressing. "I am not going to spend any more money here, period!" I snapped. She huffed and puffed and walked off. Good grief!
That, my friends, is why I hate going to malls. I was nearly eaten alive. It will take me many moons to recover from this experience...
Oh, and by the way, one of my posts was featured over at Co-Joh the other day! So go check it out! Click here!