Tuesday, August 18, 2009

And THAT is Why I Hate Going to the Mall!!

Seriously! If I knew that going to the mall was going to be a stress free outing, where I could find things at a low price I would enjoy going more often. Usually, I only head in there when I need more soap from Bath and Body Works -- the only kind that doesn't make my hand scaly. I go there once a year when they have their super sale and stock up.

But today, I decided that I couldn't put off getting a new bra any more! I have been putting it off since I stopped nursing Nephi... oh, yeah, you heard right, I am still wearing my nursing bra because I am too cheap to go spend $40 on a new one. I hate bra shopping!!

Now, the only ones that fit like I like 'em are at Victoria's Secret -- but I have to drive an hour to the nearest one, in a mall. So I packed the kids off, made sure my purse was stuffed with diapers, wipes, and snacks; and off we went.

Needless to say, the car ride was a complete joy! Can you read the sarcasm there?

Anyway, we finally get to the mall and go in. Did I mention that I hate going to malls? Aside from the fact that everything is so expensive, I HATE the salesman people with their little booths in the middle of the mall halls. I hate feeling pressured and used. I hate that they give you complements, but don't mean them, they just want you to buy their product. The constant nagging and calling out to me while I am walking to my destination, irritates me beyond belief.

I am a nice person, mostly. But sales people REALLY bring out the worst in me.

This is what happened today:

I had Nephi in an umbrella stroller, and Sam was walking with me. I wanted him to get his wiggles out before we had to get back in the car. But Sam was being Sam and kept running ahead.

Out pops sales lady.

"Hi would you like to try some lotion?"
"Well, I am busy chasing my kid down." I started to walk past her when she grabbed my hand.
"Oh, my gosh! You have the worst looking nails and cuticles EVER!"
"Sam! Get your butt over here!! What?! My nails...?" At this point she whips out this buffer brick thing and starts buffing my nails.
"Sam! I am NOT kidding! Get over here!" I start to pull away as I see Sam duck into a music store, but buffer-woman won't let go of my hand. Sam suddenly comes back out and runs over to me to see why I am not chasing him.
"Has anyone ever told you that you are a very beautiful woman?" she said to me in a thick Spanish accent.
"Yes, my husband tells me all the time," I reply, knowing she really doesn't mean it, she just wants to buy this buffer thing.
"You're married?!" she asks her eyes wide with shock. If I wasn't so easy going, I would be a little offended here. Duh, lady! Here I am with two kids in tow, and you are buffing my nails on the hand I wear my wedding ring!
"No fair," she said. "I'm not married... no one wants to marry me..." she whined. Hmmmm... I wonder why, I thought to myself. Instead I muttered, "Bummer."

Then she starts going on her sales pitch, all the while holding my hand so I couldn't get away. At one point she even turned and yelled at Sam to come back. But she just kept talking and talking and I was so busy trying to keep Sam in my sights and Nephi in stroller that I didn't even notice that I was handing my debit card over and I had bought not one but TWO funny buffer bricks!! Ahh!

I started to run away at this point, when sales-lady pops back in front of me! What the *&%$#@!!??

"I forgot to tell you, that you have terrible acne!" She said to me in a tone of voice like she cares. I touched my face, my ONE zit from PMSing.

"What?! I also get a zit or two when I am PMS."

"But your skin looks like you haven't showered since last Christmas! Now if you had this special facial mask you would look younger and not ever have zits." The little con.... I KNEW this was a lie. I have great skin. And I recent being told I looked like I haven't taken a shower since Christmas!!

"Look, I need to go before I lose my kid in the mall." She got this angry look on her face and kept pressing. "I am not going to spend any more money here, period!" I snapped. She huffed and puffed and walked off. Good grief!

That, my friends, is why I hate going to malls. I was nearly eaten alive. It will take me many moons to recover from this experience...
...and Nephi really likes my new bra!

By the way, does anyone need a buffer-brick thing? I have an extra one... LOL.


Oh, and by the way, one of my posts was featured over at Co-Joh the other day! So go check it out! Click here!


Jared and Vanessa said...

Cute bra!!! Nephi looks like that one person out of Star Wars, the one with the two buns on the side of her head (sorry, I am not a big star wars buff). So how have you been doing latley?? I love reading your blogs!!

Our Family said...

I am definitely with you on this, Cat. I hate, hate, HATE shopping, and malls are the worst.

I think we've been accosted by the same company. It must be part of their training because a salesman grabbed my hand and started buffing away. Then he started asking me what I knew about the Dead Sea, and then told me all about its healing properties. Anyway, about a year later my husband was at the mall without me and had the same thing happen to him. He was mad because the fingernail was really shiny and it took a few weeks to grow out. :o)

Momza said...

Great Post! And way cute Bra--lol!
Don't worry, these days will pass; there'll come a day when you get to go to the mall all by yourself...but the kiosk sales people will still be there, unfortunately!

Mama Nut said...

Yes! It was the Dead Sea people!!

That is weird that they would do it to a man... my husband would freak!

Jill said...

Bra shopping is the worst. I am not a big fan of the middle-of-the-mall kiosks either. I'm not as nice as you. I totally avoid eye contact and I WILL say something. :)

Tobi said...

Honestly! What horrible idiot came up with this selling tactic?

I had a similar experience at the mall a few years ago. I was out with my two kids and this french man accosted me and told my hair looked like I had never heard of conditioner. He had just the product that would save my hair. I told him no thank you in my meanest tone and left the mall.

Practically Perfect... said...

WOW. What a nightmare. I hate going to the mall, too, and definitely prefer to do all of my shopping online if at all possible.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

It looks like you'll need many moons to fill out that bra. Sorry, I couldn't resist. :) What a hilarious story; I feel your pain. I'd rather chew glass and drink lemon juice than go bra shopping with children in tow.

Mama Nut said...

LOL... yeah, I went up a couple bra sizes after I had kids... I was shocked when I found out what size I was now!! LOL... No wonder my husband has been Mr. Happy about my mommy body...

Pam said...

Wow! That woman was positively aggressive! We have those kiosks in our mall, too and I can (thankfully) say that even though they call out to me, no one has ever grabbed me and not let go. That is outrageous. Maybe you can call the mall security people and report them. That doesn't seem right to me.

Anne Alagna said...

I hate the malls too. I have resorted to ordering nearly everything online.

Melanni said...

I have learned how to be really blunt to salespeople. I either just ignore them or just say "Sorry, not interested" over and over agian until they get it. I don't like shopping at the mall, either, especially with my kids. I think I go about twice a year and I have to work myself up to it...

Anonymous said...

OMG! I can't believe she said those things to you (well, yes I can). I despise sales people and I don't even acknowledge those people if I can't help it. They are so annoying they still knock on my door despite having a sign there that says "no soliciting". Honestly, I don't think they know what "soliciting" is.

Frenzymom said...

I hate shopping at the mall too. I think we have some place like that at our mall only they want to try to give you a dead sea scrub on your hand or something or a new cell phone. It's like leave me alone I have kids I'm trying to keep track of and I already have a phone, who doesn't these days!!

Love your blog and cute bra!!

Amy said...

Ok... that is just about beyond belief. Seriously!! She needs to keep her hands to herself, and leave everyone else's hands alone. One word comes to mind.. but since this is a family blog...:) (Starts with a B....LOL)