Has your mother ever told you she couldn't wait until you had kids of your own and hoped they acted just like you!! Oh, come on, we have all heard that line! It's the parent version of: "What goes around comes around." or just plain Karma. I used to sass back and say: "Then my kids would be so cool if they were like me!" Neener, neener, Mom! Take that!
Let's just say, I never took into account the fact that I may mature over the course of 20 years, and hopefully, I still wouldn't be my "cool" eight year old self. Luckily, fate was kind to me and now I am a woman with kids of my own and thinking far differently than I did at eight. However, my kids are another story all together.
I am pretty sure my parents chuckle as they lay in bed at night and think of me getting my fair share of naughtiness from my own kids. Yeah, I probably deserve it too. Why? Well, let me give you a few reasons why I deserve to have my kids.
Reason #1: The Pennies
When I was about eight years old, my dad took me with him to get our car fixed. As we walked into the garage, my greedy (not to be confused with "beady") little eyes noticed a quarter on the ground. Of course I am going to go for it! What self respecting eight-year old wouldn't? There was only one problem that I quickly discovered. The quarter was glued to the floor! Who does that!? My dad thought it was hilarious and laughed his head off at my expense.
The idea of the glued quarter always stuck with me. And one summer I thought it would be too funny to glue a few pennies to my sidewalk in front of the house and see who stopped and tried to pick them up from the safety of my house. So out I went with pennies and glue, and then went in the house and my sister and I camped out in front of the window to wait and watch.
A couple hours later, my mom found us glued to the window laughing hysterically. She came over to see what was so funny and noticed there were a group of small children outside trying to pry the pennies off the sidewalk with no success.
Needless to say, my mom made me go out there and get them off myself and give them to the kids. My mom just had no sense of humor! Except that she really did! I have often heard her tell this story to her friends and laugh about it.
Reason #2: Handcuffs
My dad was a cop growing up and I was always fascinated with his handcuffs, what kid wouldn't be? One Christmas, "Santa" left us kids each a pair in our stockings. Now, these were the days when kid's cuffs were actually really cuffs with no safe devices... they were awesome!
Now I was the proud owner of my own set of handcuffs for about three months. Why? No, I didn't lose them. No, I didn't break them, or misplace the key. I got them taken away because I handcuffed a neighbor boy to a tree and left him there kicking and screaming. I never saw my cuffs again.
Reason #3: Rubber-band Guns
Does the very title instill fear in your heart? It should!
One Christmas, my mom gave my dad a really cool wooden rubber-band gun for kind of a silly fun gift. I LOVED this gift and thought it should have been mine. So I did what any other smarty pants would do... no, I did NOT steal it! What kind of kid do you think I was? I made my own out of scraps of wood from my dad's work shed/garage. I glued clothes line clips on it and it was perfect! It worked just as good as my dads! But making myself one wasn't enough. I had to make ALL the neighborhood kids rubber-band guns so we could have battles and stuff. What I didn't realize was that I was actually arming the kids with weapons that they were more then happy to use.
The first and last victim was the Ice Cream man. Poor guy, he didn't even see it coming -- even though the first shot was between the eyes.
My mom came around with a garbage bag and collected all the guns and chucked them in the trash. That was a sad, sad day.
Not to mention the time I popped all my mom's bath beads, peeked in all the Christmas presents, or the time I made "jam" out of my mom's fresh picked raspberries... the stories go on and on! I was a real piece of work! I was Sam, and Sam is me. I totally deserve this!
So when I am whining and complaining, I need to remember to relax and know that one day, I will be laying in my bed at night, chuckling myself to sleep because Sammy had a kid... just...like...him.
Do you deserve yours?