Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Sam the Man

There's a new man of the house. Me! That's right, people, daddy's gone and I am in charge. Mom thinks she is, but I am the real power house here.

I dictate timeouts. Like yesterday, Nephi was really getting on my nerves. So I pushed him into my bedroom and locked him in. Take that! Mom heard Nephi screaming out and came to rescue him. I quickly said, "Ruffy, naughty." (Note: Ruffy is what I call Nephi)

Mom: "Did you put Nephi in timeout?"
Me: "Yes."
Mom letting Nephi out: "You're not the boss, Sam. I am."
Me: "No."
Mom: "Yes."

Whatever, I will show her! Like today. Mom strapped us in our animal backpack leashes. I felt really cool as we lined up at the door to go out to the car. Mom was grabbing her purse, when I noticed that she wasn't holding our leashes. I quickly grabbed Nephi's off the floor. When mom opened the door, I expertly lead the reluctant Nephi out. Mom was laughing until I decided Nephi need to pick his feet up and walk faster. I started running with the leash and Nephi fell. Mom got mad and tried to take back the lead. I put up a big fight... but mom is still a lot bigger. Things would have been fine if Nephi would just suck it up and stop whining to mom all the time. The dork.

Mom strapped us into our seats. I used to have the big boy kind that I just had to wear a seat belt. It was really cool because I could sneak out and play with the toys on the floor or peek up front to see what was going on. But mom and dad got really angry and told me I had "lost big-boy privileges" and had to be in the baby seat again. Oh, joy!

What?! I thought as I looked over at Nephi in his seat. Where did he get that truck! I am sure it is mine! Give it to me! He ignored me. I tried to hit him but my arm was too short... but my leg wasn't. I maneuvered myself so that my foot could kick him. It would have worked to if: 1. He hadn't then dropped the toy on the floor and 2. Mom hadn't seen me and slapped my leg. I got in trouble! The indignation! The injustice I suffer at the hands of my little brother! It's just not fair!

"Life isn't fair," my mom said from the front seat as if reading my mind. How does she do it?
I did, however, get her back big time! First off, I took apart my desk. All that was left was a pile of boards. She was mad, but I knew I could do better. While she was picking up the pieces in my room, I ran into the front room, climbed up some shelves and got two new rolls of paper towels. This was going to be fun! Nephi helped me unroll them and decorate the front room. When mom came out, I beaned her with the empty rolls. When she looked around and saw what we had done, she started to cry. Score!! Except that now I am in timeout... I just have one last thing to say:
She better watch out! Because I am the man of the house now.

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13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh no, too funny! So, this is what I have to look forward to in a couple years?? Thanks for kicking me betwen he legs and just tellin' it like it is, Cat!

Jennie @ ModernMamaz said...

Brilliant I am! You think I'd be able to operate one of these things by now! The last comment was from me:) I just got a little trigger happy with the "enter" key!

Jill said...

It's gonna be a long 8 months, Cat! Sam better gear up... With daddy gone, Mama's gonna be coming to town on the discipline train. :) I hate to laugh... I really do. But it seems like the "Nut" part of your blog's title is coming true! If you weren't nutty before, you're gonna be before Sam's school starts back up.

Good luck! However, I must say I laughed A LOT! And for that I am grateful. Better stock up on the Diet Pepsi... you're gonna need it.

ThatMommy! said...

roflol i have had days like that except times 6. lol

Pam said...

Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor even after a day like that. Hang in there.

Sara Richins said...

I think I'm the only one not laughing. I've had one too many of those days, and it's worse when you're pregnant. I'm so sorry you're having a bad day. If you need a break, or whatever, let me know. We can come over and watch mine your kids play outside and you can take a bubble bath, or read a book, or whatever. Really am sorry you're having a bad day. I hate those days.

Princess Mommy said...

Not sure how I ended up here but so glad that I did. Great blog! I also just saw on your side bar that you did everything with with Photoshop Elements?! I bought this about 2 weeks ago and can not figure anything out!! You are my new inspiration!

Alex the Girl said...

Too funny! I can so see that.

Mama Nut said...

Princess Mommy: I got a book about how to do it. It was totally outdated (for 2.0) and I have (5.0) but the features were still there to show me how to do certain things. The part that was the hardest was figuring out what the heck is with the layer thing! Now I LOVE layers! If you have any questions just send me an email.

Unknown Mami said...

You need to get with the program. Things might go smoother if you just acknowledge that Sam is the boss.

Our Family said...

Wow, Sammy. That's pretty impressive that you can lock doors already. Now that you're the man of the house, try to keep Nephi happy for your mom's sake. You can do it; you're Sam the Man!

Rocksee said...

Oh Sammy buddy.. you are a handful!

Single Mama NYC said...

I absolutely LOVE when Sam posts. He is definitely The Man!