Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Man Voice

One of the hardest things about Ben being gone, is that he was Mr. Discipline. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a push over or anything, but the boys do get a kick out of walking all over me. Not for lack of trying, either. I can tell them do something like get off the back of the couch, and they just laugh. Then Ben will tell them to it in the SAME words and they hurry to obey. What's up with that?!

I am the Queen of this Nutshell, and I rule supreme. This boys are going to do what I say, even if I have to be tough about it. I will no longer be laughed at or pushed around! This was my resolve when Ben left and dog-nabbit I was sticking to it!

"Sam! Get you little butt in here and clean up these wipes!" I commanded after Sam unloaded a brand new bag of baby wipes all over the living room. He ignored me.
"Sam, I mean it! Get in here. One!"
"Twoooo!" I hear a little voice yell from the other room.
"Sam, don't get sassy with me!"
"Threeee!" He called out. Then ignored me again. I went in his room and found him pushing a little bus around.
"You are in big trouble mister!" I tried to say in my tough mama voice. He just laughed. I walked over and grabbed his hand. I wanted to show him the wipes and demonstrate how to pick them up to my satisfaction. His little body went limp and he laid on the floor. I wasn't going to let this stop me... I dragged him instead. He thought this was a great game and exclaimed, "Weeee!" all the way into the living room.
"This," I pointed to the wipes. "Is very naughty behavior, Sam! A big NO NO! You KNOW you aren't supposed to do this! We go through it 4 times a week. Now pick them up."
"What did you just say to me?!" Great now I sounded like my mom.
"Noooooooooooooooo!" He said then stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry in my face. The little... !! My anger was boiling. I grabbed his hand and made him pick up the wipes and stuff them in the bag. He just laughed and refused to participate and curled his fingers into a fist.

I was sweating. I was tired. And I had had it!

Then I had a revelation. A great revelation!

I cleared my throat. And then did the most unqueenly thing possible -- in my best imitation of Ben's baritone voice, I said in a manly tone, "SAM, PICK UP THE WIPES!"

He stopped. He stared at me with wide eyes. Then he hurriedly starting stuffing wipes back into the bag. Nephi even came running in from the other room to help.

Oh. My. Goodness. IT WORKED!

Note to self: When boys are being naughty, use the "Man Voice." Very effective and no spankings required! Oh, yeah...



Our Family said...

That. Is. Awesome.

Amber Lynae said...

I was thinking I would have not been able to last as long as you before blowing my top. Good revelation with the man voice. I will have to remember that.

Anonymous said...

i am so going to get a man voice

Jill said...

Oh the power of the daddy voice! I wish you luck!

Melanni said...

I need to start working on my man voice!

Tobi said...

Way to innovate! I wish I would have thought of that. Genius Cat...sheer genius!!

Kimberly said...

Hey, whatever works!

Get Real Girl said...

Absolutely hilarious. Do you think it would work on little girls. I think I need to try it.

Stopping by from SITS!

Shannon said...

I totally know what you mean. My boys drive me nuts sometimes...well a lot of times. I never thought about changing my voice to a lower tone. Maybe I'll remember that sometime....hahaha...totally laughing right now.

Cynthia said...

Snort! I call my 'man voice' my 'Selma' voice as I sound more like Marge Simpson's sister when I try and use it.

Glad it worked for you!

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

It's all about the voice, for sure.

Ana said...

Yeah, I've found a good, strong tone works wonders. I also think they listen better when I keep it a bit quiet rather than yelling. It sounds more serious.

Guilty Mother said...

Ooooh, I have one of those voices, it even scares me sometimes. It's expecially good in the morning (when I wake up my voice seems to have dropped considerably) and I've even had my mum ask to speak to me when she thought she was talking to Paul on the phone but was actually already talking to me.