I am the Queen of this Nutshell, and I rule supreme. This boys are going to do what I say, even if I have to be tough about it. I will no longer be laughed at or pushed around! This was my resolve when Ben left and dog-nabbit I was sticking to it!
"Sam! Get you little butt in here and clean up these wipes!" I commanded after Sam unloaded a brand new bag of baby wipes all over the living room. He ignored me.
"Sam, I mean it! Get in here. One!"
"Twoooo!" I hear a little voice yell from the other room.
"Sam, don't get sassy with me!"
"Threeee!" He called out. Then ignored me again. I went in his room and found him pushing a little bus around.
"You are in big trouble mister!" I tried to say in my tough mama voice. He just laughed. I walked over and grabbed his hand. I wanted to show him the wipes and demonstrate how to pick them up to my satisfaction. His little body went limp and he laid on the floor. I wasn't going to let this stop me... I dragged him instead. He thought this was a great game and exclaimed, "Weeee!" all the way into the living room.
"This," I pointed to the wipes. "Is very naughty behavior, Sam! A big NO NO! You KNOW you aren't supposed to do this! We go through it 4 times a week. Now pick them up."
"What did you just say to me?!" Great now I sounded like my mom.
"Noooooooooooooooo!" He said then stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry in my face. The little... !! My anger was boiling. I grabbed his hand and made him pick up the wipes and stuff them in the bag. He just laughed and refused to participate and curled his fingers into a fist.
I was sweating. I was tired. And I had had it!
Then I had a revelation. A great revelation!
I cleared my throat. And then did the most unqueenly thing possible -- in my best imitation of Ben's baritone voice, I said in a manly tone, "SAM, PICK UP THE WIPES!"
He stopped. He stared at me with wide eyes. Then he hurriedly starting stuffing wipes back into the bag. Nephi even came running in from the other room to help.
Oh. My. Goodness. IT WORKED!
Note to self: When boys are being naughty, use the "Man Voice." Very effective and no spankings required! Oh, yeah...