Here's to my first official Fat Butt Friday! Yay! For those of you who are new or missed the memo: click here.
Okay, so this is how I want to do it. I state my goal: 50 pounds. And then I will tell you how much I lost this week: 2 pounds. So that leaves 48 more to go! I hope I can do this. I can feel my body fighting it. It really doesn't want to lose these pounds... so I am going to have to work harder this next week.
I just want to make it clear, that I am determined to have a good attitude about this. As in, yes, I am seriously trying to lose weight, but at the same time it isn't because I hate myself. In fact, I think I am pretty cool most of the time. I don't think being overweight is ruining my life, and I don't let it pull me down or dictate how I feel about myself. Actually, I quite enjoy poking fun of myself. So when I tell one of my "what it's like to be fat" stories, don't feel bad for me, that's not my intention, I want you to laugh too. So here on my debut, I want to tell you the tale I like to call The Foreigner and the Lentils.
About six years ago, my friend and I went to eat out at Olive Garden (one of my favorite places). I was so excited because I didn't get to go there very often. After we had ordered, I noticed that there was this older man starring at me. I stared back to see if he would look away, he didn't. It was really awkward so I pretended to ignore him and chat with my friend. But I could feel his eyes burning into me. What was his problem? When my friend and I got the salad, the man stood up and started walking over to us.
"Excuse, me," he said in a thick Indian accent.
"Yes..." I said.
"I could not help but notice that you are fat," he said as matter of fact. I was completely horrified. What a jerk, I thought. How dare he! My friend was just as shocked and disgusted as I was. We were both speechless and the man took it as his cue to continue.
"You know, if you ate lentils, you would not be fat."
"Oh, really? I haven't heard of the lentil diet," I said sarcastically... but my rudeness was lost on him and he went on.
"Oh, not many people know," he said. "I felt it my duty to come and tell you. You need to eat lentils... they are like little beans."
"I know what lentils are, thank you very much." I tried not to make a scene, but people were already watching this little drama play out. I wanted to ask him if he knew what tact was... but I didn't. I decided that maybe in his country that is what people did.
"Thank you for your concern, but really I can take care of myself," I said instead and turned to my friend letting him know that the conversation was over. But he didn't leave.
"There are many ways to prepare lentils..." he started.
"You know what?" I asked getting really peeved. "I don't even like lentils, okay? Now, I would really like to enjoy my lunch with my friend." He took the hint and returned to his table.
My friend and I just stared at each other, not knowing what to say. Then I just started laughing! I couldn't stop. The whole situation just really tickled my funny bone. My friend started laughing too. But we really lost it, when the man finished his meal and passed our table on the way out.
"Remember," he said. "LENTILS." What a turd.
I hope you got a good laugh, I sure did writing this... looking back. I have some other stories too -- but that's for another time. I hope to hear some of yours.
By the way, if anyone decides to try the lentil diet, let me know how it goes.
Happy Fat Butt Friday, everyone! Don't forget to leave us a link if you are participating today!
P.S. If anyone has any ideas on how to make this blog better, I would love to get an email from you! nutinanutshell(at)gmail(dot)com.