"They tried to kill me yesterday!
"Let me explain...
"First, we did the 'confidence course'(origins of this name unknown) which was just a really fun obstacle course where we had to balance on logs and walk the length of them and crawl under barbed wire and through holes and a bunch of other stuff. So that was okay.
"Then we marched about half a mile to where there were a bunch of buildings with no vegetation around them. They then gave us all gas masks and told us we were going to get gasses with CS gas (Tear gas).
"First of all, that stuff isn't just tear gas. Right as you walk in with your mask on, your skin starts to burn like someone's using one of those hair removal machines that pulls the hair out by the roots over all your exposed skin -- which is your head, neck and hands. After a minute they make you lift your mask up and say your name, rank, and the last 4 digits of your SSN. Then you put the mask back on and blow all the smoke out.
"Then they lined us up in front of the exit, pulled all our masks off and made us sing "The Star Spangled Banner." After about the fourth bar, I couldn't go anymore. I thought my lungs were going to explode!
"Finally, they opened the doors and had us walk outside (if you ran, they made you do it again). We had to wave our arms like Big-Bird and shake the gas off our clothing. After flapping a couple of times, and blinking profusely, I saw a guy step right in front of me and take a close-up of my snot ridden face.
"It took a full 30 minutes before I couldn't feel the effects of the gas anymore. Then they marched us over 2 miles home in 90 degree heat.
"When we got back, we had to change our clothes and shower, then put all our clothes in bags marked "NBC" on them (which stands for "Nuclear/Biological/Chemical"). Then they shipped them off to a special cleaner. We'll get them back on Friday.
"Anyway, all I can say is I'll never think of "The Spar Spangled Banner" in the same way again.
A couple more updates: He broke his toe. Had to be on crutches for a few days. And the overnight camp-out would make the boy scouts laugh. Ben said it was shameful.
So I just have a few comments to add to that.
1. So much for a "fun time" LOL (See last weeks post, here)
2. Where can I get a copy of the Snot Face Gas Chamber picture? and
3. This is one time where I am glad to be the one hanging cool with Sammy.
Hope ya'll have a great snot-free weekend!
One last thing! Thank you to all of you who left messages for Ben here. He LOVED LOVED LOVED them! He said it really made him feel like a hero. So Thank You!