Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Worst Mommy = Me

Okay, so I had had it! Sammy was being the biggest turd yesterday! Deep breath. Let me start from the beginning.

My little sis and her family came down to visit us for a few hours yesterday. She has two girls (6 & 4) and a little boy (2) and they love to come play with my boys. Last time they came, we turned them loose on the play ground and they had all got a long great. But today it was raining, and having 5 kids trapped in the Nutshell with four adults can be chaotic to say the least.

Sammy was so pumped to have visitors that he got overly excited. Then after the initial excitement, he starts getting violent. I don't know why, I think it has to do with the whole male territorial thing plus all Sam's communication issues all wrapped up into one big package. Not an attractive package either. If it really was one, it would look like one of those suspicious gifts wrapped in newspaper that make you want to call the bomb squad.

Sammy wouldn't stop kicking, hitting, and stealing toys from the kids. He was laughing while the others were crying. Finally, I had had enough when my little 4 year old niece came in to report that Sam was once again hitting the other kids. When I blurted out: "Just hit him back!"

Silence.

Not my proudest moment.
My sister and brother-in-law gave me strange looks. My niece got a creepy little smile and darted away back to the bedroom where the kids were congregated.
Not 2 seconds later we hear a scream. Sammy comes running out screaming.

I gave him a hug and said, "It's not fun to be hit, is it?"

I was hoping my mommy blunder didn't cause permanent damage to any of the kids. I know Sammy got over it pretty quick, because after a second or two he forgot why he was crying. Stopped, and then took off back to play. Needless to say, we had no more incidents.

But I still feel terrible that I sanctioned hitting!!! Arg! I promise I will never do it again... does it count if my fingers are crossed?
****
Am I the only one with bad mommy moments??

24 comments:

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

You are so not the only one doing this kind of thing. I might have been known to utter similar words myself at some point. It is annoying that it can be effective though. I tend to say things like 'you are going to have to work this one out yourselves' and then hide.

Thanks for owning up to some of the less positive aspects and Lets Bad Mummy it together!

FranticMommy said...

I'm right there with ya Mommy. When a bully was bothering our Kindergartenerthis spring my hubby was mortified when I told the 6 year old to "clean his clock". I don't want to encourage hitting, but I want my kids to stand up for themselves too. Then I wrote a note to the teacher to cover my a$$. :)

DaveandRuth said...

Interesting, because when my kids are hitting each other, I tell them to hit back and they do not do it. However I have a friend that tells the story of her daughter. When she was little, she liked to bite. Her mom got fed up with it one day and bit her, and she never bit other kids again. We all have our not so brilliant moments!

Kathy B! said...

I think you did just fine. Ultimately sometimes this is what works best. Is it the right answer all the time? Nope. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do...

Jill said...

No Cat, you're not alone. Sometimes we've hit our max. I was going to leave a comment with a story, but it's too long. I'll e-mail you instead. Lucky you. :)

BridgetJean said...

You are not the only with bad mommy moments. Just wait until they become teenagers.....that's when the real fun begins!!!

Our Family said...

Nope, we've all got bad mommy moments. :o)

Baseball Mom said...

Plz!! We all have our moments. We just all hope we learn from them and move on.

Happy Tuesday!!

Mandy said...

No, your not a bad mom! Once my daughter olivia slapped my face surprisingly hard for a toddler, and before I even thought about it I slapped her right back on her face. OMG! I was just as surprised as she was, but I had never been slapped in the face and it is so different than being hit anywhere else. I do not hit my kids back when they hit me (they hardly ever hit mommy btw), and I don't condone it, but she has never slapped me again. For the record, she didn't even cry. I think she hit me harder than I hit her! You don't feel so bad now do you? :-)

Meagan and John said...

you know, when Dominic was an infant I was trying to cook and sat his booster seat on the counter, I turned just for a second and by the time I turned back around he had falledn face first on the floor bloody as all can by the time I turned him over, I couldn't get his nose to stop gussing blood, I was so humiliated having to take him to the doctor, but after that mommy of the year momment I think it is hard to compare the little stuff like allowing the dogs to bite him when he doesn't leave them alone like forgetting to add salt to a recipe.

You aren't a bad mom, you are just an overworked, underpaid stay at home mom of a very hard headed son, you do what you got to (short of beating them) to get the point across, and let me tell you when DOminic and the dog took a walk to the park a few years ago by themselv beating him in the street didn't really seem that bad, considering the natural consequences that could have happened. Better they learn now

Days of Whine & Noses said...

We all have our moments!

Thanks for stopping by my blog today!

Shannon said...

You're just a normal mom!! Sorry!! oh I just had one. Used h e double hockey sticks at my 6 year old. Sometimes you just blurt things out & you don't have time to use your filter.

Anne Alagna said...

Hahaha! Dont chastize yourself... it sounds like it was the perfect solution. Sometimes the stuff we 'should' do just doesnt work. You did fine. They will all survive.

Suzi said...

We all have bad mommy moments. I have told my kids to hit back when there is one who won't lay off. They have to be able to defend themsevles when words don't work.

Suzi said...

By the way, I stopped in from SITS.

Debbie said...

Shoot. I bet there isn't anyone out there without a bad mommy moment! You're just being honest.
Dropped by from SITS.

Rocksee said...

Your a great momma. Great great great.

C.J. Keller, said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
C.J. Keller, said...

Don't we all have the image of Perfect Mommy in our heads? There is so much information out there now that tells us what is "right" and so many media outlets for teens and adults to express how they think their parents screwed them up. For thinking moms, it's really hard to sort this out. I struggle with this every day. I just keep telling myself that there's no shame in having my son understand that I'm not perfect, he's not perfect (gasp) and that the world is not perfect. And that I'm not going to regulate for him every consequence of his actions in an attempt to create the "perfect" outcome. That would not seem to be doing a kid any favors in the long run if I did.
But still, isn't this hard to say to the other Perfect Mommies we think we always see?

Aleman's said...

I don't condone hitting but I do condone defending yourself. I always tell my kids notto start fights but if someone hurts them they can hit them.

Kasie said...

Hahaha! I totally would have done the same thing. I know we all have our different parenting styles but I totally think this was a good learning experience for him. I think you did a great job! And you totally made me laugh.

Jodie said...

I have said those same words. Cooper is so mean to Sara. He once took a full diet coke can and hit her on the head with it. Well, I told him to come over to me and I hit him on his head with the can. (I didn't hit him hard, just enough to make a point.) Unfortunately, it hasn't stopped him one bit from being a bully to his little sister.

Controlling My Chaos said...

Nah, I've done that. It's no big deal. It's usually the little one beating up on the older one and I have to tell her to buck up and defend herself, stop letting her baby sister push her around. It works. Bullies are so predictable.

Jenny said...

HAHA that's exactly what I would have said. Or (if it was my son) I woulda smacked him upside the head and told him to calm his ass down.