Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Wii Fit -- Oh, How you Mock Me!

Do you have a Wii Fit? Does she like you? My Wii-fit hates me. She's always making wise cracks about my weight, fitness ability, and hygiene. Seriously! Here's how it went today.

I weigh in. My little character looks skinny at first, then the little scale starts going up, and up, and up and finally maxes out above "obese" setting and starts flashing -- my little character now becomes really fat. Translation: "If you gain anymore, I will have to ask you to please step off and don't use me again... ever." (Note: That screen shot isn't mine, but you get the picture)

Next step: She tests my balance and gives me my Wii-Fit age. First of all, I am not sure what I am trying to do as a little target moves around... do I stay still or try to follow the target around. BEEP, wrong choice! I get a low balance score and the Wii asks me if I know how to walk, and if I do, do I trip over my own feet or walk into walls? Then the Wii tells me I am a fifty-year old in a 28 year old body. That stinks. Oh, well.

I get to see my graph of improvement, I am reminded of my goal I am not reaching, and coaxed into starting my training.

This is usually the part where she makes a comment like: "Did you brush your teeth today?" or "Did you eat breakfast?" or "I hope you got enough sleep last night..." I have to laugh. What was it going to do if I said no. Sometimes it even tells me how much better one of the other users is doing than me. Like Ben, who isn't even here, and when he was he was training for Basic -- now, it really isn't fair to compare me to him. Really!

Now, I really enjoy all the training. The trainers can be a little picky at times. But I rock the hula hoops! No, I am not going to post a video of me doing this. You would only be jealous at my smooth moves.

My biggest foe is Yoga. I have never been very flexible, and with chubbiness in all the wrong places, Yoga is a struggle for me. I am sure that when the Pretzel pose is introduced I am going to be in trouble. Yet, I am good at the Warrior pose. That's a good one. The tree pose kicks my butt though. I hate the tree pose (as seen on the front of the box). I can't get my leg up, and when I do, I can't keep my balance. The Wii really got on my case about this. "Get back on the board" it told me. "Your balance is terrible" -- like I didn't know. "This is easy, just do it!" Is it trying to encourage me??

So I did what anyone would do. I decided to cheat. *Evil Laugh*. This time I balanced myself by putting my toe on the ground outside the board. Haha, I thought, take that. Then the Wii said, "I know you are stepping off the board..." Ahhh! How did it know! It knows everything! What if I decided to do it in the nude? Then what? Would it say, "I know you are naked! Get dressed!"

"That's it!" I said to it, with a strong desire to throw my controller at the TV. "No more today! Got it!?" I stepped off the board.

"Where are you going?" She asked. "Please step back on the board."

"No!" I snapped reaching for the power button.

"Please step back on the board." She repeated.

"Kiss my...tree pose!" I hit the off button just as she gave one more plea, "Please..." Oh, the power! Now if I could just "turn off" all annoying people. Wouldn't that be great!?

I love my Wii fit! Tomorrow I will be rested and ready to take her on again. This time she might be sorry she messed with ME!
Note: If you missed my little review announcement, please check out the end of my last post. Thanks!


Jill said...

The Wii Fit kicked my trash as well. But it was so fun. I hear the Wii Active is really fun as well. Good luck taking on your "trainer" again tomorrow. :)

Andrea said...

Wow-maybe I'm glad I don't have a Wii fit! Good luck tomorrow.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I've been toying with getting one of these wii fit things. I may have to now just to be able to say Take That Lady! And turn her off :)

Pam said...

I had the exact same experience with our Wii Fit. I've used it exactly once. Not my cup of tea. I don't like to be nagged by my electronics. I get enough of that from my 2 teenagers.

{jordan} said...

You make me laugh REALLY hard. Which is something I try NOT to do, because it isn't pretty. Dogs begin to howl, babies begin to cry, and my family thinks there is a strange animal in the house, but when they see it's just me, they get really scared thinking I'm dying or something. I WAS jealous of your fit at first, but maybe not so much anymore.
I LOVE that your 'trainer' knew when you were cheating!
Good times, good times....

kiwibabee said...

I want a Wii, but they are so expensive here. one day, and now hearing of your fun time with it, I can't wait. One day it will be mine.

Haley Hatch Freeman said...

Wow, that was funny. I was thinking of getting one, maybe I don't want one now. jk

There is a GIVEAWAY of a book I can totally see you loving or even writing something like it one day. Check it out at

Our Family said...

Hahahahaha! I've never tried the Wii Fit, but I enjoyed your description. Hopefully we'll get to hear more of your adventures with it. I know you can take her...

Guilty Mother said...


Rocksee said...

I think i would throw those little controllers at the TV!

Melanni said...

Wow, she is bossy!

C.J. Keller, said...

I've been thinking about getting a Wii Fit. I've heard about these crazy comments though and they would drive me crazy. Is there anyway you can turn these comments off?
I once took a relaxation class in college. In the biofeedback portion, we had to put on monitors and headphones. When the machine determined I wasn't relaxed enough, it would emit a loud, annoying beep in my ear-- which added to my lack of relaxation-- which caused more beeps-- which caused irritation-- which caused more beeps. You get the picture.
I would totally lose my concentration and probably manage to injure myself if I had to listen to all those comments.

NYC Mama said...

I've been wanting to get the Wii Fit -- now I'm not so sure. :-(


Amy said...

LOL!! I can't even say Cat... I laughed so hard at this one!!! LOL When the Wii tells you to step back on the board.. I jsut about died. I jsut had to read it outloud to my hubby Denton and he cracked up too. Thanks for sharing.. such a great laugh!

One Cluttered Brain said...

ROFL!!!! HA! so cleverly written. Just knock the socks off Wi-Fit voice mama. What does she know about YOU anyway??


I wish I had a Wi-fit. They seem like the ultimate exercise tool. (Even though they would probably think I am fat too.)