Saturday, June 13, 2009

The TAN-MAN

For those of you new to the "Nutshell," Saturday is Ben's day to post (my husband). Also I posted an extra post last night, so check it out below. -Cat
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A few years ago, my father-in-law offered to watch Sam (Nephi wasn't yet with us) for a few days so Cat and I could have a romantic get-away to Mesquite. Who could refuse such a generous offer? Then a couple of weeks before we were scheduled to take off, Cat won a weeks worth of free tans at a local tanning salon. We thought that was great luck! Here we were white as white, prime for the Nevada sun to fry us like bacon, and we get a chance to get a free base tan. Base tans are great, Cat assured me as we entered the salon. If we get one, she told me, we aren't as likely to burn on our trip. Cool, I thought.

So there we were, the first customers of the day sporting our swimwear proudly and were greeted by a "well-done" teenage girl who showed us to our different rooms. She set the timer in my room and told me to press start when I was ready, then moved off to help Cat. Leaving my swimming trunks on because of fear of what might get burnt, I jumped in and lowered the lid, funky goggles and all. After a few minutes, I started to feel a little warm on the skin, and I thought good it's working, then a few more minutes passed, and a few more, then finally the buzzer chimed and the lights faded.

After donning my clothing I went outside to wait for Cat only to find her already finished and waiting for me.

"What took you so long?" She said.

"You know how much longer it takes me to get dressed than you" I replied.

"OK, let's go" She answered.

We set a date to return the next day, then left.

Little did I know that the results of tanning beds take a few hours to show. By that evening I looked like a boiled lobster, and felt like one too.
The next day, I returned to the tanning salon, to show them what they'd done to me. This time were greeted by the owner who did the most genuine gasp I've ever heard.
She took one look at me and asked, "What happened!?"

I told my daring story of braving the tanning booth #1. Not only had the bulbs just been changed recently making it "ultra" powerful. But the newbie worker had set the timer for 10 minutes too long!

Horrified at her employee's blunder, she quickly offered me another week of free tans. Now, having been recently fried, I politely declined her generous offer.

Needless to say by the time our getaway arrived I had fully shed a layer of skin and had a nice tan emerge from underneath.

"Perfect" I thought. "Every time we go down there, I'll just hit that tanning booth about a week prior, and I'll be set." I've never worked up the guts however to do it since then, but I have convinced Cat that my farmers tan is sexy.

The Tan-Man now is only a memory.

-The Daddy Nut.

11 comments:

DaveandRuth said...

Good for you convincing her farmer tans are sexy. They are! In fact, I think it is the only way to go!

Cynthia said...

Tans are overrated anyway (says my pasty white self).

Nothin' wrong with a little Farmer Tan- especially on a guy. Now MY Farmer Tan? Eh. Not so much.

Pam said...

Yikes! I've never been to a tanning booth and don't plan on visiting one any time soon. I bet the owner was worried you would sue him.

Jill said...

I don't know... the Oompa Loompa look might have been kind of cute. ;) But I have to say that the farmer's tan is kind of sexy. Unless the forehead is white from the hat... well, then it's not. Thanks for the laugh. We're going to miss Daddy Saturday.

Amelia said...

This story is classic thanks for the laugh.

Shannon said...

Always remember when you've never been or it's been a while, start low, very low. I love going to the tanning salon but hate it when I get a little overzealous & then have to wait for the pink to go away. I love that picture you used. Nothing wrong with a LITTLE color.

Heather said...

i knew there was a reason i've never gone to a tanning salon. lol. that is hilarious.

Jenny said...

HAHAHA wow.

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

Yeouch! Yet funny :)

insider53 said...

OMG that must hurt. I can only imagine. Happy Early Father's Day.

Our Family said...

Ouch! I love that the owner tried to remedy the situation with more tanning. :o)

You remind me of a song...

"Farmer tan on my neck and arms,
farmer tan--the secret of my charms.
Every girl wants a man with a farmer tan!"