I don’t know when the purse first became popular, or what caused it to be such a sensation among women. I only know that women usually start carrying purses around about the same time they begin to have their little monthly problems. Yet I’ve never seen a special compartment in them to stash the “magic bullet”, or perhaps the designated area is where my wife keeps the extra pens (one of which is my favorite but keeps ending up in there). Aside from that I see no reason for a woman to carry a purse for the three weeks it is unnecessary to do so. And on a side note, why use something so large to house something so small. I mean a pocket cigar case would do the trick. But women seem to enjoy being mysterious so the cigar case is out and the purse is in.
There is another enigma that resides upon the woman’s purse. It is that the size of it tends to grow as a woman ages, and the number of compartments reduces until you’re left with just a canvas shoulder bag. This I wholly do not understand. It is reasonable that a purse is large enough to house a sippy cup for each toddler in the household plus a few diapers and wipes. What I don’t understand is why said purse carried does not shrink after the kids have outgrown that particular phase. I think it is because the purse is never really cleaned out until the woman carrying it begins to feel the straps cut into her shoulder. But once that time does come, in Cat’s case, she can fill an entire grocery bag full of stuff, leaving her purse looking limp and relieved. The funny thing is… even when she gets a new one, the old one is never entirely cleaned out. I have a full size box of old purses filled with stuff. Suffice it to say that we men just don’t understand the whole reasoning of a purse when clothes are made with perfectly good pockets, and belts can hold any number of things. And if all else fails there is the old classic… the fanny pack.
Now from the time that we (males) are very young, we’ve had our hands slapped when we’ve tried to get into mommies purse. The reason we try is because we’ve seen her reach in and pull out a snack on several occasions and we want some of the action. She however does not want to loose the spoils she has so cleverly kept away from daddy.
There are many different methods to accomplish this goal. In my experience, a purse is FILLED with clutter, junk mail, receipts, their cellphone, i-pod, band aids, lotion, make-up, key chains that are heavy enough to pry keys out of the ignition and finally a membership card to every business within a thirty mile radius. What we don’t realize is all those things were strategically placed there to fool a meddling toddler into believing there are no more goodies, and to deter a husband that would rather go buy his own stuff than go on a treasure hunt that could be potentially dangerous. Yes, dangerous. I once was pricked by an open safety pin while conducting a search… booby trap.
Finally, there is the issue of men carrying purses, they try to disguise that fact by calling them man bags, but us real men can see through the ruse. All I can say is if it quacks like a duck…
Disclaimer: The Pictures above are NOT of Mama Nut's purse.