Friday, May 22, 2009

Ask Cat

I was reading the Reader's Digest this afternoon, while I was watching the kids play outside. Feet kicked up, Diet Coke in hand... life was good. As I was reading along, I came to the advice column, Ask Laskas: Commonsense Advice. I didn't think too much of it, I never do. Usually I just skip it, but today I decided to read it. I'm glad I did, because it gave me a wonderful idea for this blog!

Now, the writer of "Ask Laskas" is just a regular gal, not a therapist or a "shrink." She's just like me, a normal everyday person with common sense. Hey, I thought, I could do this! I could give advice, I mean it can't be that hard right? So a plan started to form in my head... I know, a dangerous thought, me planning. But I came up with this:

Every so often, I am going to do a post called, "Ask Cat," were I will dish out advice to imaginary people that I make up. If you, by some random chance, actually have a similar problem, then maybe it will help -- or not. Either way we will all have a good ol' time. Right? I think I have common sense... more than some, anyway! (see this post for a good laugh!)

Note: If you happen to have a problem, and you are curious as to what advice I would give, send me an email. Since I have announced that all my "writers" are fictional, no one but me and you will ever know that it's real. I know, sneaky huh?

Okay, here is my first advice for Ask Cat!

*****
Dear Cat, My husband and I have been married for a little over a month. The honeymoon was great, but as soon as it was over, my husband went back to school full-time and works nights. I know he has to go to class and all, but then he spends hours at the library and won't come home until just before he goes to work. I never see him anymore! It seems he loves his schooling more than he loves me. I started to tell him that I wanted him home more, but he just doesn't understand. Am I being selfish? -Waiting at Home

Dear Waiting,
The answer is, yes. You are being selfish. Your husband is working hard to provide for your future family. Schooling is time consuming. You knew when you married him that he was dedicated to getting his education. Love him. Let him know that you support him. Swallow your feelings of neglect, because you are the woman of the house now, his woman. Support him by encouraging him to do his best. Trust me, the less you nag him about spending time with you, the more he is going to want to be you, and the more willing he will be to make more time to be home.

Dear Cat, I think my son has some learning disabilities, but my pediatrician just says that he will grow out of it. My boy is almost three years old and hardly talks. He is my first and only child so I don't know very much about milestones and how to look for them. I know something is wrong, though. Especially since people ask me all the time if he is autistic. Am I overreacting? If not, what should I do? -A Worried Mother

Dear Worried,
I actually had this same thing happen to me. If you feel there is a problem, there are many things you can do to get another opinion. There are lots of places that will give you an honest evaluation. Look into local "Early Intervention" programs or check with your school district for a referral. Always trust your motherly instincts, and don't ever let professionals tell you you're overreacting, even if you are a first time mom. Professionals almost killed me and my Sam when I was in labor with him, and he was born very sick because of it. When it comes to your child, always trust your heart.

Dear Cat, I can't stand my best friend's new husband. He makes fun of her in front of our friends, he doesn't have a job, and he nags her about her weight -- she's pregnant. I don't know what to do. Do I stop hanging around her? Or do I tell her I have issues with her man? -Friend Indeed

Dear Friend,
If you really value your friend, don't do either one of those things. She made her choice. And it was HER choice, not yours. Don't seek to tear her down, but lift her up! Let her know that you love her no matter what. If you are out with them and the husband starts ripping on her, speak up and say something nice. Let him know in a non-confrontational way that you think she's great and so should he. If he doesn't get better, I'm sure she'll wise up some day. Just be sure that you are a good enough friend to her, that when she needs you, you'll be there. Until then, bite your tongue.

Dear Cat, Everyone keeps stealing my baby names! I have 2 girls and hope the next one is a boy. Three times I have told a friend the boy name I want, and then they have a boy and use the name. I know I should be flattered that they like it, but I wanted it! So then I change it, and it happens again. I am really mad! -Nameless

Dear Nameless,
First of all, the golden rule to naming your kid is NEVER to tell anyone! Not even your best friend or sister, because over half the time, they will take it. My best advice is to make up another name to tell people, and keep the real one dear to your heart until you sign the birth certificate of your baby boy.

****

Well, what do you think? What advice would you give? Any tips?

29 comments:

Yaya said...

Love it!

Congrats-first sits commenter today!

Rocksee said...

this is great!!! You should take questions and do this regularly!

Our Family said...

Ooh, great idea! This will be fun! I love your advice to "Friend Indeed."

American in Norway said...

Hey popping by via sits! Adorable blog! Love the questions & advice.. I will have to see if I can come up with something! : )

Anonymous said...

I can tell much of your wisdom comes from your very wise mother.

Mary K Brennan said...

Neat idea. Seems you have a knack for this stuff. Good luck!

Robin said...

Great advice....

But I think -Waiting- should get herself a hobby or start spending more time on herself and things she is interested in. She needs to stop sitting around waiting for him. Time wont tick by so slowly and, when he is finished with school, she may not have that free personal alone time that she has now.

Whoops, there I go....way too much.... :-/
Great blog!
Have a beautiful weekend.

WhisperingWriter said...

Stopping by from SITs.

This is great advice. My son was also 3 and barely talking so we started him in speech therapy right away. He's 7 now and still behind but is getting better.

Jill said...

I love it, Cat. I KNOW I've talked with you about at least one of those. :) And I agree with the rest of the comments... you need to do this regularly.

I have one question I'd like answered. My friend is one of the sweetest people I know. She's amazing. However, last time I was at her house, I noticed her oldest son was missing. I asked where he was and she informed me he was sitting on his bed. I'd already been there for some time and I thought "Good heavens, for how long!?" It's her kid so I didn't say anything. But when I mentioned this to another friend she told me that this is very common. And that little boy (who isn't even 8 yet) will have to sit on his bed all day. I was shocked. I have never really seen my friend raise her voice and she always manages her kids so well. Should I say something to her about how damaging this could be to her son or should I continue to mind my own business -and not lose a friend in the process?

Your cool friend Cheryl said...

Visiting from sits...great idea and great blog!

DaveandRuth said...

You are swesome! My daughter was about 21 months old before I realized she was not right. She was the 4th child, so do not feel too bad. She went to Early Intervention, then trasitioned to the preschool here. She is going another year to the preschool, while her speech has come a long way, she is delayed in other areas and I fear for Kindergarten. I expressed my concerns at our last IEP meeting and they reassured me that we will cross that bridge when we get there. I am so glad to know there is someone out there struggling with their small child. Our other worry is our 2 and Half year old does as her sister does, but they tell me she will get to a point where she will know better. I hope, because together it can be a very trying day.

Meagan and John said...

yeah, great, now I wanna know how you know what you women are doing to keep the husband out of the house so much, cause I have been married 6 yrs and my husband's schedule is about to change so he will be home more which means he will be around more to complain about everything--and I mean everything!!! So short of kicking him out (I do want to be able to celebrate our 10th anniversary) i would like to know your advice on how to how to get my husband to stop complaining and being so grouchy....

sincerely
tired of the complaining

www.lewis4higher.blogspot.com

Valentine said...

this was so funny! i love your advice column, what a great idea!

thanks for stopping by my blog to say hi, your comments totally made my day!

Ronnica said...

I like the idea of not telling others your favorite baby names...I've been trying to remember to keep my favorites (for now) close in case I do choose to use them when that time comes!

aforestfrolic said...

Cat, I love this idea and your answer to the first 'anonymous quesion' was answered wonderfully :) Thanks for stopping by...I'm so glad you did, so I can come back for more advice.

Jamie :)

Melanni said...

Wow, your good at this! I can't wait to think of a question to send your way so I can here your take on things!

Pamela Donnis Designs said...

Great advice :). I look forward to reading this column in the future. Oh, and that baby names one makes me grumble. Happened to us.

We don't know if Jared got the job yet...He flies out on Tuesday for the campus interview.

Mathea said...

I love it. You have some great thoughts on that! Visiting from SITS
nickannycreations.blogspot.com

Kristin said...

Fabulous advice. Hi from SITS! Loving your blog!

Shannon said...

Love it!!!!! Keep it up. My faves are the friend one & the baby name one. Love it!!!!

Practically Perfect... said...

Love the post - I definitely agree with a lot of what you said :-)

Thanks for stopping by my site today!

Tina said...

What a neat idea!

Thanks for the comment on my blog. I'm bookmarking you now and will be back for another visit!

Dixiemom7 said...

Thanks for visiting my blog! It was exciting to see the results so soon of trying to join the blog network yesterday. I appreciate your comments, it gives me confidence to keep it up! Love your "Ask Cat" thing. It's gold. I pray healing for your son.

Stacie said...

Great blog!

I'm your newest follower!

I've added your badge to my blogroll as well.

Happy Friday!

{jordan} said...

I love you for doing this! Keep up the amazing work you super mom, you...

Buggys said...

I love it, very good showing of common sense!

John Deere Mom said...

You gave great advice! My son was very slow to talk as well. I finally told me ped. that I wanted a referral to the early intervention program. He was put in and has done great!

Kimberly Kihega said...

You've got some cute kiddos! I'm following you now!

NYC Mama said...

You give really great advice, Cat. What a wonderful person you are!