I was reading the Reader's Digest this afternoon, while I was watching the kids play outside. Feet kicked up, Diet Coke in hand... life was good. As I was reading along, I came to the advice column, Ask Laskas: Commonsense Advice. I didn't think too much of it, I never do. Usually I just skip it, but today I decided to read it. I'm glad I did, because it gave me a wonderful idea for this blog!
Now, the writer of "Ask Laskas" is just a regular gal, not a therapist or a "shrink." She's just like me, a normal everyday person with common sense. Hey, I thought, I could do this! I could give advice, I mean it can't be that hard right? So a plan started to form in my head... I know, a dangerous thought, me planning. But I came up with this:
Every so often, I am going to do a post called, "Ask Cat," were I will dish out advice to imaginary people that I make up. If you, by some random chance, actually have a similar problem, then maybe it will help -- or not. Either way we will all have a good ol' time. Right? I think I have common sense... more than some, anyway! (see this post for a good laugh!)
Note: If you happen to have a problem, and you are curious as to what advice I would give, send me an email. Since I have announced that all my "writers" are fictional, no one but me and you will ever know that it's real. I know, sneaky huh?
Okay, here is my first advice for Ask Cat!
Dear Cat, My husband and I have been married for a little over a month. The honeymoon was great, but as soon as it was over, my husband went back to school full-time and works nights. I know he has to go to class and all, but then he spends hours at the library and won't come home until just before he goes to work. I never see him anymore! It seems he loves his schooling more than he loves me. I started to tell him that I wanted him home more, but he just doesn't understand. Am I being selfish? -Waiting at Home
The answer is, yes. You are being selfish. Your husband is working hard to provide for your future family. Schooling is time consuming. You knew when you married him that he was dedicated to getting his education. Love him. Let him know that you support him. Swallow your feelings of neglect, because you are the woman of the house now, his woman. Support him by encouraging him to do his best. Trust me, the less you nag him about spending time with you, the more he is going to want to be you, and the more willing he will be to make more time to be home.
Dear Cat, I think my son has some learning disabilities, but my pediatrician just says that he will grow out of it. My boy is almost three years old and hardly talks. He is my first and only child so I don't know very much about milestones and how to look for them. I know something is wrong, though. Especially since people ask me all the time if he is autistic. Am I overreacting? If not, what should I do? -A Worried Mother
I actually had this same thing happen to me. If you feel there is a problem, there are many things you can do to get another opinion. There are lots of places that will give you an honest evaluation. Look into local "Early Intervention" programs or check with your school district for a referral. Always trust your motherly instincts, and don't ever let professionals tell you you're overreacting, even if you are a first time mom. Professionals almost killed me and my Sam when I was in labor with him, and he was born very sick because of it. When it comes to your child, always trust your heart.
Dear Cat, I can't stand my best friend's new husband. He makes fun of her in front of our friends, he doesn't have a job, and he nags her about her weight -- she's pregnant. I don't know what to do. Do I stop hanging around her? Or do I tell her I have issues with her man? -Friend Indeed
If you really value your friend, don't do either one of those things. She made her choice. And it was HER choice, not yours. Don't seek to tear her down, but lift her up! Let her know that you love her no matter what. If you are out with them and the husband starts ripping on her, speak up and say something nice. Let him know in a non-confrontational way that you think she's great and so should he. If he doesn't get better, I'm sure she'll wise up some day. Just be sure that you are a good enough friend to her, that when she needs you, you'll be there. Until then, bite your tongue.
Dear Cat, Everyone keeps stealing my baby names! I have 2 girls and hope the next one is a boy. Three times I have told a friend the boy name I want, and then they have a boy and use the name. I know I should be flattered that they like it, but I wanted it! So then I change it, and it happens again. I am really mad! -Nameless
First of all, the golden rule to naming your kid is NEVER to tell anyone! Not even your best friend or sister, because over half the time, they will take it. My best advice is to make up another name to tell people, and keep the real one dear to your heart until you sign the birth certificate of your baby boy.
Well, what do you think? What advice would you give? Any tips?