Saturday, April 25, 2009

Me Versus Them

I was thinking today about the way Cat treats me in certain situations compared to the way she treats my two sons, Sam and Nephi, in the same circumstances. I’m sure you’ll all agree that it’s the way it should be, but I’m also pretty sure a good portion of us never really stopped to think about it. So today I decided to run a few of these by you to see what you think.

Example 1.
Somehow I manage to break one of the kids’ toys, and this is the dialogue that follows…
Cat: How can you break one of the kids’ toys!? Can’t you just leave stuff alone?
My common responses:
A: I picked it up, and it fell apart in my hands.
B. I just wanted to see how it worked.
C. I can’t help it if something’s been under-engineered.
Cat: (Some incredibly clever response that cannot be countered).

Now to turn things around. This is what happens when the kids break one of my toys…
Me: Aaaaagh! CAT! The kids broke my cell phone/mp3 player/watch/laptop/whatever…
Cat: Well, you shouldn’t have left it where they can reach it.
Me: I didn’t! It was on top of the bookcase.
Cat: Ben, you were sitting there watching that stupid Science channel yesterday, while Sam climbed the bookcase to get to his Easter Candy. Didn’t you see him?
Me: No, I was watching TV.
Cat: Well, then it’s your own fault because you zone out when the TV’s on.
The dialogue continues about my attention span problems until once again Cat says something that is too clever for me to rebuttal.
Conclusion: Either way, it’s still my fault.

Example 2.
The kids decide they don’t like something Cat cooked for them. So she simply nukes something they like, and that’s that.
Now if I decide I don’t like something Cat has cooked I don’t say a thing, because if I did, the only thing that would get nuked is me.

Example 3.
The kids get to play all day. They spend hours playing in the sand, swinging on the swing, and going down the slide. They ride bikes, play with their cars and trains, watch movies, and even get to take uninterrupted naps. The only rule is No Fighting, and sharing is encouraged.

On the other hand, I don’t get to play all day, ride my bike, play with my cars, or watch movies. And heaven forbid I try to take a nap.

Although it seems I often get the short end of the stick, there are certain perks to being THE DAD, like…
- I can get away with saying “Because I said so”.
- I don’t have to wear a leash when we leave the house.
- I can drive my cars.
- I don’t have to go to bed at 7:00.
- And best of all… I get to sleep in mommy's bed.


Our Family said...

Hey Daddy Nut! This post made me laugh, especially your excuses for breaking things and how you might get nuked. :p Poor Dads.

Anonymous said...

Ben, this was a great blog entry! And I think you have a fun sense of humor

Anonymous said...

Too cute and oh so true! LOL Most hubbies would agree with you! Maybe not out loud, but they would agree none the less!

Jill said...

More true than I'd like to admit! Very funny. I like your take on things, Ben. I had myself some really good laughs. Maybe I'll try thinking about things from this point of view a little more.

Amy said...

This is a really funny entry Ben, got a laugh out of it for sure! Especially the nuked comment! Too funny :)

Rocksee said...

Daddy Nut, wouldn't it be a whole nuther set of blogs if Momma Nut made you were a leash? That kinda makes me giggle. :)

Cynthia said...

uh oh! He's on to us!

The Mom said...

I love your blog as well! Congrats on the "thank you" this week. I would call that a huge achievement, I can't get my 11 year old to do it!