Saturday, April 18, 2009

His Side of the Story:

There are a few good ways to get your husband to post something on your blog. Telling everyone that he will have posted by a certain date is a good one (can’t let the world know that you’re a procrastinator). Another good one is to make fun of him by telling the world of one of your pet peeves directed solely at something he does, like not listen to you. Well here’s what I think about that.

Women are manipulators, especially my woman. She has convinced me over time that I don’t listen to her. But I think it’s a conspiracy, a back door if you will, setting me up to take the blame on any given occasion.. This works especially well in public, where the majority favors the female in any case, and all her friends are there to help glare me into the floorboards.

Here’s how it works. She starts off at home, entering the living room in a huff of displeasure, and interrupts my movie saying that I’d promised to _______(insert random task). In defense I exclaim I would never in my right mind promise to do such a thing. And that's where it starts. The yes you did’s and no I didn’t’s ensue. Eventually I’m obliged to save myself from a few days of stale dinners and allow her to win. I then wrack my brain for the next ten minutes, or however long it takes to finish the task, trying to remember if I really had promised to do it, finally giving up and concluding that I don’t listen to her…when in reality, it was all part of her plan.

After a few repetitions, our little game moves into the public setting where she can blame just about anything, like not “remembering” to bring something on our trip, or not “remembering” to change the kids before we left. The list goes on and on, basically giving her an “out” in any situation, and leaving me with the eager hangman.

And so I conclude that it’s all a conspiracy to get what she wants, and I either need to start wearing a wire or carrying a notebook.

If there’s anyone else (with testosterone) who is feeling oppressed in the same way, shoot me a line. Maybe we can start a club or something (kudos to whoever can come up with a good name).

-Ben

6 comments:

Mama Nut said...

Ha Ha, Sweetie! That' why I married you, you're just so funny! Love the dry humor -- even if you are full of you-know-what!

Rocksee said...

Wow, I'm not even going touch this! :)

Jill said...

I have absolutely no idea what you are referring to. :) But you are right, we're in the majority. And yes, the blame usually falls to the man. I doubt a notebook would help, honestly. It would only reconfirm that your wife did indeed tell you and that you really weren't listening. And then you'd be right back where you started. But again, I have NO IDEA what you're talking about. I'd never set my husband up in a trap. Never... ever. :)

Amy said...

LOL... fight! Fight! Fight! Hehe J/K! You two are very funny... and I can definitely see both sides of the situation. And probably have to agree with both of you! :) Mainly, sadly to say, because I have never been a very good listener either. It is one of my biggest faults, that I have known I had since high school. I tend to fade out a lot, my mind drifts. I can't even listen to books on tape because the rewind button would probably short circuit. Often, my husband is grateful for my short attention span and bad memory, because then he gets to retell all of his stories a hundred times! Hehhe unless they are about past girlfriends... for some reason, I remember all of those, and can document them quite well :) Sometimes I am quick to remind him that I already heard that one...!
There are also times when my husband asks me, or tells me to do something... which I don't ever remember him asking... gets me into trouble sometimes. So anyway, sadly I can understand both sides of the case :) *can't be a juror in this court!*

Mama Nut said...

Well, Amy, it doesn't help that you are deaf in an ear :) It gives you a great excuse for not "hearing" what your hubby says. hehehe.

Also Ben and I are jokers :) We have a great relationship where we can tease each other of the stigmas attached to our sexes -- all in good fun :) It's great! Even though he thinks he has us all figured out... I love to throw him curve balls every now and then, just to see what he will do -- and keep him on his toes.

Kelly Dawn said...

Cat - I am new here...came here from baseball mom...and i have to say i love it!

Ben - dude you are in the minority here - my husband does not listen to me either...we call that selective hearing at my house...and everyone is guilty of it BUT ME :)

:) following you guys now..

love it!

Kelly