Women are manipulators, especially my woman. She has convinced me over time that I don’t listen to her. But I think it’s a conspiracy, a back door if you will, setting me up to take the blame on any given occasion.. This works especially well in public, where the majority favors the female in any case, and all her friends are there to help glare me into the floorboards.
Here’s how it works. She starts off at home, entering the living room in a huff of displeasure, and interrupts my movie saying that I’d promised to _______(insert random task). In defense I exclaim I would never in my right mind promise to do such a thing. And that's where it starts. The yes you did’s and no I didn’t’s ensue. Eventually I’m obliged to save myself from a few days of stale dinners and allow her to win. I then wrack my brain for the next ten minutes, or however long it takes to finish the task, trying to remember if I really had promised to do it, finally giving up and concluding that I don’t listen to her…when in reality, it was all part of her plan.
After a few repetitions, our little game moves into the public setting where she can blame just about anything, like not “remembering” to bring something on our trip, or not “remembering” to change the kids before we left. The list goes on and on, basically giving her an “out” in any situation, and leaving me with the eager hangman.
And so I conclude that it’s all a conspiracy to get what she wants, and I either need to start wearing a wire or carrying a notebook.
If there’s anyone else (with testosterone) who is feeling oppressed in the same way, shoot me a line. Maybe we can start a club or something (kudos to whoever can come up with a good name).